To be or not to be a mother in the USA: how American women balance between family and career

On Sunday, May 13, Mother's Day is celebrated in the United States. In addition to cakes, balloons and breakfasts in bed, this is also a reason to talk seriously about motherhood, career and the role of a modern woman in society.

Фото: Depositphotos

The publication told about how this day is celebrated in the USA, as well as about the life of American mothers. Rtvi.

On American television screens today there is active preparation for the second Sunday of May - Mother's Day. There are posters all over New York reminiscent of the upcoming holiday: “Buy, give, make your mother happy!” Americans will definitely buy it, give it as a gift, and make it happy. This tradition is more than a hundred years old - it was invented in 1908 by Philadelphia resident Anna Jarvis in honor of her mother. Anna herself was not destined to become a mother, but thanks to her, flower shops and American mothers have a red day on the calendar in mid-May.

Of America's 326 million people, 51% (167 million) are women, but only half of them are mothers. For the rest, there is no holiday, because on International Women's Day (March 8), mimosas and candy are not offered to Americans.

For fashion historian and journalist Bronwyn Cosgrave, 365 days of the year are feminine and festive. At almost 52 years old, she is glad that she did not spend the most productive years of her life on sleepless nights and diapers.

“To be honest, I actually never wanted children, because I was fine without them! I don't think every woman is born to be a mother. But this unrealized “maternal energy” can be directed in another direction, for example, becoming a mentor for young colleagues,” the woman noted.

Parents, aunts and colleagues at work Bronwyn do not understand. But a former magazine editor who realized herself in a career Spindrift I am convinced that not everything in life depends on children.

“My father told me that after 30 it would be too late to give birth. He has a traditional outlook on things, perhaps because he was born in Dublin. But I grew up in the eighties - it was a new era, the era of career women. And I never pay attention to what society expects of me,” Casgrave admitted.

Фото: Depositphotos

Especially if society or the state of the expectant mother does not help. In America there is practically no parental leave. The employer is obliged to give the woman in labor only 12 weeks of rest. This is less than three months. They can be taken before childbirth, but the duration of the maternity leave will not change. And after that, the child can either stay at home with a nanny or go to a nursery. Both the first and second will cost a tidy sum - from a thousand dollars a month; there are no free nurseries in America. And it’s no easier with kindergartens.

In general, being a mother in the United States is very difficult, and no less difficult. - Mom should not be here. Society in the United States loves to follow traditions. Social pressure: “come on, come on, give birth quickly,” relatives and friends urge.

A native of Nalchik, Dana Serikova made the choice between career and motherhood without much pain. I didn’t want to quit my job, and after giving birth, I spent less than two months at home and returned to the office, but the role of a mother made its own adjustments - especially after the question arose: what and how to occupy my two-year-old child. Together with her friend, Dana developed an application for smartphones to help herself and other New York mothers.

"I was trying to find an application about how Uber, so that you can use it to find and enroll your child in a circle. But there was nothing like that, and so the idea of ​​my own application was born. A startup appeared 8 months ago,” Serikova said.

In the end, Dana is balancing between family and work for herself.

“I talked to some friends in Russia, and many of them are surprised by American holidays for new mothers. And when I say that maternity leave here is only 12 weeks, they, of course, fall into shock,” the woman noted.

Фото: Depositphotos

Felisha Madison was preparing to become a doctor, but in 30 years she became a mother, and decided not to be distracted by other matters. Not entrusted the education of the heirs or the gardens or nannies. I raised three children and only after that answered the question of who she herself wants to be when she grows up. A new lesson threw a bright experience of motherhood. The wife of a successful businessman decided to become a comedian Felish not for money, but for the soul.

“Stand-up comedy is very much about my 16-year-old daughter, she comes up with endless material for skits, as does my husband. In general, I talk a lot about my marriage, my children, even about my dog ​​- everything comes into play, everyone becomes the hero of my speeches,” admitted Felisha.

Mother's Day she will spend with her mom.

“I think that every mother on this day would like to just run away from everyone and everything, but few people succeed. I'll probably go to breakfast with my mom. And then for dinner with my husband and children,” said the comedian.

This is such an American tradition. At least 26 billions of dollars. In this amount, the love of Americans for their mothers is estimated by the Association of US Sellers.

And this fact greatly upset the mother of Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis. Before her eyes, a modest family holiday, following the example of Christmas, turned into a commercial trap for ordinary people. For the rest of her life, almost a quarter of a century, Anna unsuccessfully tried to take the holiday and cancel it. But Mother's Day in America traditionally falls on schedule - on the second Sunday in May.

Read also on ForumDaily:

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From the first person. How does American parenting differ from ours?

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