Personal experience. Births in the USA and medicine in the first year of a child's life

Kaiser Hospital, Santa Clara. Photo from the personal archive of the author.

Friends from Russia, where I’m from, often ask me about American realities: what are the interest rates on mortgages, how much food prices are rising, how much does the Internet cost? And the medical topic is generally one of the most popular for discussion. Especially now that I have to deal with pediatrics, because I have eight-month-old twins. Therefore, I will tell you about some points related to local medicine.

Let's start with the decree and leave for child care. With the favorable course of pregnancy in the United States, and in California, where I live, in particular, women do not go on maternity leave until the very birth. Pregnant women work to the last, and there are frequent cases of a trip to the maternity hospital right from the office.

American childcare leave for three years and never dreamed of! Here they often go to work within a few months after childbirth, or even earlier. How long the parental leave will last and whether it will be paid depends primarily on the state and on the employer. In general, in the United States there are three main opportunities for such a vacation (for simplicity of the narration I will call it a decree).

1. Decree granted throughout the United States by Federal Law (FMLA)

If you work for a company with a number of 50 people, you are required to provide a decree for a period of 12 weeks without payment.

2. State Decree

In California, you can take six weeks for vaginal delivery, or eight weeks if there was a cesarean section. In addition, during the holidays, salary compensation is provided in 40-60%. But not all states are so generous. If you believe my girlfriends in Wisconsin and Colorado, they are not allowed by the state.

In addition, in California, you can take a decree before the birth of a child. To receive it, you need to fill out a questionnaire, according to which it will be clear whether you have worked enough hours to get such leave or not.

3. Employer decree

Somebody's lucky here. But the main condition for receiving such leave is that you must be a full-time employee and not a contract worker. In particular, at my husband’s company you can take maternity leave for a period of six weeks with a salary compensation of 60%. Google gives you maternity leave for three months with full salary. At Microsoft, maternity leave is 12 paid weeks for men and 20 for women. Plus you can take eight weeks at your own expense.

Thus, the minimum maternity leave is only 12 weeks. Those living in California are lucky - they can add 12 more weeks to these 6 weeks. And if you are lucky with the employer, then after the birth of the baby you can look after him for a whole six months.

I went on maternity leave five days before giving birth, at 38 weeks. On the fifth day of the 39th week, my sons were born. I don’t plan to go to work yet - I want to enjoy motherhood as much as possible.

Let's return to medicine. A husband accompanying his wife to an appointment with a gynecologist during pregnancy is something that locals take for granted. When I was told that in a antenatal clinic in St. Petersburg, a doctor does not allow a friend’s husband to be present at the next visit without explaining the reason, I simply could not understand what was connected with such a blasphemous approach.

Actually, they also give birth here with their husbands. And this is the norm, for which you don’t have to pay as a privilege - all the rooms in the hospital are designed for the stay of mother, father, and child 24 hours a day. Moreover, the dad can also be present at the caesarean section. I had a planned cesarean section, and my husband was by my side throughout the entire operation, holding my hand and being very supportive. And after the birth of my sons, I was able to take stunning photographs of the first minutes of their lives.

Photo from the personal archive of the author.

After giving birth, you will not be detained in the hospital - if the birth was natural and went without complications, you can easily be discharged within 24 hours. In the case of a cesarean section, patients are allowed to go home on the second or third day. We stayed in the maternity hospital from Thursday evening to Monday evening. By local standards, they were delayed. This is because I was not recovering as quickly from surgery, and the older twin spent a couple of days in the intensive care unit. Where, by the way, at the local hospital everyone was allowed in 23 hours a day (an hour without visits due to two shift changes in the department). Everyone - parents, relatives, and friends. Here they believe that family members are the biggest support for children. Moreover, there are even wards next door and a kind of hotel at the hospital, where parents whose children are forced to stay in this department for a long time can spend the night or just relax.

Kaiser Hospital, Santa Clara. Photo from the personal archive of the author.

After my children were born, we did not part with them, although it is possible to give the child to the next room under the supervision of a pediatrician and nannies to take a break. But the husband only took the kids there in turns for check-ups.

We spent the rest of the time in our room - food was brought to us here, every hour they came to check the babies: they examined them and measured their temperature. They also checked my blood pressure and temperature every hour and brought me pills and water.

In general, in the hospital I had a strong feeling that I was at a resort - so much attention and care. Once a day, supervisors came and asked if we liked everything and if we needed anything else. We were even a little tired with our questions, because we tended to show up just when the children were falling asleep, and we finally had half an hour of respite to sleep too. And here you are - someone comes to chat about life.

Photo from the personal archive of the author

In the hospital, the children, of course, were examined from head to toe - the chief pediatrician came to look, the doctors on duty checked their eyesight and ears, they dripped something into their eyes, gave vaccinations, and counted how many times the kids ate. The lactation specialist came directly to the ward - once just to get acquainted, then a couple of times we had questions and we called him ourselves. The same specialist was involved in the design of the breast pump, which is issued free of charge through insurance.

You do not need to pack any bags with you to the hospital. This is the eternal problem of all pregnant women - they are about to give birth, but the bags for the maternity hospital are not packed. The most you might need is a toothbrush with toothpaste and slippers. And yes, there is enough toilet paper for everyone. By the way, I’m terribly surprised why in Russia, even during paid childbirths, you still have to bring your own toilet paper.

In the US, doctors do not go home. Even to newborns. In addition to examinations in the hospital and another one the next day after discharge, the next scheduled appointment with a pediatrician is prescribed in two months. On the statement, they gave us a reminder where to call and run in case something happened, they fixed the date and time of the ultrasound scan of the hips, which is done at the age of one month, and recommended a pediatrician to show up in the coming week to make sure that the kids are gaining weight well.

We ourselves initiated unscheduled examinations of pediatricians: once with a pediatrician and a second time with an osteopathic pediatrician. For out-of-schedule appointments with doctors, we pay $30 per appointment per child with our insurance. But consultations with lactation specialists are absolutely free. I had some minor problems in this matter, and to be on the safe side I went to an appointment a couple of times. Again, together with my husband, who was nearby throughout the entire meeting. By the way, medical insurance due to the birth of twins began to cost us $120 more than we paid for two adults.

In general, children are examined according to a schedule: in the first couple of days after birth, at two months, at four, at six and at one year. Only the pediatrician examines the child. All techniques are similar to each other: first, you fill out a questionnaire with two dozen questions related to the baby’s development (does he smile, roll over, walk) and with general topics - what kind of feeding is the baby on, do you leave him unattended, is he very tired mom, and so on. The child is then weighed and his height measured by a nurse.

Photo from the personal archive of the author

After which the doctor comes, enters all the data into the computer and shows graphs - the child’s weight and height in his own perspective and in relation to various norms. Next, the doctor examines the baby - skin, eyes, ears, and evaluates new skills. At the same time, he answers our questions and shares his observations. Then another nurse comes in to administer the shots, and that’s the end of the appointment.

Doctors of other specialties do not examine children. Of course, I am now talking about a situation where everything is fine. In case there are such complaints, you can go at least every month (according to our insurance, for each new admission you will have to pay $ 30 for one child).

By the way, in the USA there is no such thing as a “nursing mother’s diet.” Here mommies are allowed to eat everything. Moreover, on the second day at the hospital they brought me a citrus dessert, and on the third day - a chocolate pie! I remember how my husband and I, at a course for expectant parents on breastfeeding, laughed at the words of the consultant, who said that a nursing mother could, and sometimes simply needed, a “shot of whiskey.” They say, they fed him, “took” the glass, and after two hours you can safely feed him again.

Do I like the local medical system? It's a difficult question. For example, I am on 200% satisfied with the service and quality of services provided regarding pregnancy management, childbirth and postpartum care. But our pediatrician still does not cause me complete confidence, as, incidentally, other pediatricians who watched our kids. We went to four different pediatricians, until we stopped at the current one.

Why don't I trust the doctor? It is difficult to name objective reasons. Trust is generally a subjective thing. But in this case, most likely, his approach is not close to me. For example, the younger twin did not roll over onto his tummy. To which the doctor advised me to keep him on his stomach as often and for as long as possible, even if he cries. Even if she cries a lot. Keep it anyway. Like, he'll get used to it. But this is not my version of raising children. Plus, our doctor believes that it is normal if the child does not fall asleep immediately and cries - they say, sooner or later he will fall asleep anyway.

Actually, about the same situation with adult therapists, who recommend all my complaints to drink more water and assure me that everything will pass. I like to tell a case when I came to the doctor, complaining that I have been coughing for a week and nothing has changed. She just looked at me and said that I didn’t look sick. Hmm, I did not know that diagnoses are now put in appearance. Now found out.

See also:

Personal experience. How to avoid mistakes when renting a home in the US

From the first person. 6 tips for eonomic shopping in the US

Personal experience. How much is a month of living in California

Personal experience. How I moved to the USA

Personal experience. How to save in the US

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