Marry an American: Marriages of Our Immigrants

With great difficulty, you can find a couple in which a native of the post-Soviet space is married to an American. Photo

The Internet is replete with stories about Russian-speaking girls marrying men from the United States. At the same time, it is very difficult to find a couple in which, on the contrary, a native of the post-Soviet space is married to an American. And it is not clear - either American women rarely marry Russian-speaking men, or vice versa - Russian-speaking men are reluctant to marry them?

ForumDaily talked to two of “our” husbands. Not every one of them allowed his last name to be revealed; sometimes the reason for such secrecy is circumstances, sometimes simply a reluctance to let someone into their happiness. However, each shared interesting details about their marriage.

Vyacheslav and Rosanel: “I need documents, and I’m patient”

— My wife is from the Dominican Republic. We are married for one reason - I need documents. She doesn't know about it. But I endure,” Vyacheslav tells his story. — I came from Russia on a tourist visa 7 years ago. Russian girls didn't need it. Well, they’re interested in you if you have a green card, but not without it. Even if their documents themselves are in order, they are usually not interested in messing around with someone who doesn’t have them. They will receive the documents themselves, you don’t understand how, and immediately the conceit is such that you can’t drive up on a crooked goat.

I met my wife on a dating site. She wrote to me first. Generally black and spanish They flooded me with messages there. Rosanel also wrote something like - hello, handsome! She didn’t know that I was from Russia, now she says that if she had known, she would hardly have written.

Her photos were very good, so to speak, who presented themselves favorably: one face, or face and chest. On our first date, of course, I was shocked. She was about three times thicker than I had seen in my worst dreams. Just unreal big.

The funny thing is that I now live with her and her family - mother, stepfather, her younger brother (he is in his early twenties) and little sister - and I myself have gained 12 kilograms. My mother-in-law cooks such rice with pork that it’s impossible to stop eating. I keep thinking that before the divorce we need to learn how to do the same.

I met my wife on a dating site. Her photos were very good: one face, or face and chest. On our first date, of course, I was shocked. Photo

We've been together for four years now. I started courting immediately. Or, as my friends say, “spud up.” Before her, I was introduced to a girl, also Spanish-speaking, in order to get documents done. In the end, she and her boyfriend robbed me of every penny. I paid her before the wedding to agree to apply for a marriage license at City Hall. Well, ok, done. Then they say - let’s do more or we won’t come to the wedding. Well, what am I... By acquaintance!

Her brother was my friend, he vouched for it. As a result, I was going to my wedding and on the subway I received a message from her brother: “Slava, slow down, she’s pregnant!!!” Nobody returned the money to me, of course.

Rosanel is a very good person. She somehow reminds me of women from Russia - she believes all sorts of bastards like me. Before me, she also had a marriage with a guy from the Dominican Republic, who wanted only one thing from her - for her to provide him with documents and take him to the USA. They got married there, and then she began to draw up documents, and at the same time he was having fun with her friend... She swore off marrying her own people. By the way, do you know how to pick out Dominican guys from a crowd? This is how you see the most dressed up and pomaded one, so you can immediately be sure - it’s him!

Now I have Rosanel. Am I ashamed? A little bit. But overall I'm not that bad a husband. I repaired the whole apartment. We are renting a large four-bedroom apartment in the Bronx, I also made a bedroom in the dining room, no one has ever eaten there, and now you can watch TV alone.

In general, our marriage is almost perfect - I don’t scandal or cheat. I'm just afraid of getting caught. And I bring home my paycheck. One BUT - I lied to my wife that I have a genetic disease and everything needs to be checked carefully before conceiving a child. It’s clear that I don’t need a child in this marriage at all. The test I supposedly need costs more than four thousand dollars. And we are saving for the test, but we are saving sluggishly - I constantly persuade my wife to travel, we have already traveled to almost all the states. Sometimes it seems to me that just a couple more years and I will never divorce her. Now, if she finally loses weight, then that’s probably what will happen.

ПBy and large, I was lucky. I have a cheerful wife who loves me very much, she has a good family. Will I be happy after divorce? It’s very controversial - who needs me?

Russian girls are not. For them, I earn little and no one at all. Americans white? Yes, I do not hold out in the company of an American blonde and five minutes. Not because she is so stupid, but I am so smart, but because I was raised by my mother, who stirred me sugar in tea, and I want the same in marriage.

My wife, by the way, is very caring for me. Will a white American woman do this? I doubt it. I, by the way, have friends here: she paid him ten thousand to marry her. He got married while they signed everything up and fell in love with her. Twins were born. Anything can happen.

Sergey and Cheryl: “on the first date she asked if I liked borscht”

“I first thought about emigrating from Ukraine in 1991,” recalls Sergei. “I started looking for some options, and so I ended up working as an exchange student at summer camps.” It’s funny to remember, but my friend saw the advertisement about this job. And we both decided that this was a scam - after all, it was in the 90s. But everything turned out to be true. I passed the selection and already in 1995 I went to such a camp in Michigan.

In 1998, Sergei realized that he did not want to return to his homeland. Photos from the personal archive of the hero

Traveled to the USA in this way to 1998 year. And in 1998 I realized that I didn’t want to go back home, that I had changed, that the mentality was not the same ... Even before the start of the last season in the camp, I applied for immigration to Canada. By education I am an electronics engineer, I have already learned English. In general, there was every chance.

Remained until a decision was made in the USA, in Michigan. I had already overstayed my visa... I worked on a farm. And then one day the farmer’s bride asked me if I would like to meet her friend? Well, I didn’t have much to do on the long autumn evenings. And I agreed to a blind date. Came. And she came - dark-eyed and dark-haired, somewhat similar to an Italian. Cheryl.

I was 27 then, she was 31. She already had a marriage behind her and two children from it.

What immediately won me over was her question on the first date: Sergey, do you like borshch? (Sergey, do you like borsch?). I was completely overwhelmed by the question.

And even more amazed when she fed me on the beetroot on the second date! Americans do not like to cook, but mine is the opposite. Moreover, it prepares dishes from different cuisines of the world. Started dating, I fell in love, in May 1999 got married.

May wedding 1999. Father Gary and mother-in-law Patricia. Photos from the personal archive of the hero

In October, 2000 was born a daughter, Sasha. And by that time I was still an illegal.

Upon receipt of a visa in my documents indicated that I have a sponsor. And in this situation, you must return home for two years. And I have a wife, a daughter, her two children ... What a return?

My wife, by the way, then showed consciousness, said: the daughter should be shown to the grandmother and grandfather. I took the child, my father and flew with them to Kiev. There, my friend, who speaks English, met them, was their translator ... And at that time I could not leave the country, because I would not be allowed back. I fought for status right up to 2001. All this time I argued that I had no sponsor.

He worked first in the store at the test and mother in law. Sold the carpet and laminate. Now his wife works there, and I work at the power station. During the marriage, we bought two houses, we live in one, we rent the second. Cheryl's children have grown up and already left home. Son of our second Oliver 11 years. By the way, he recently became interested in the history of the USSR, even learned the anthem, reads, it is interesting to him. But unfortunately, no one of my children speaks Russian ... I fought, fought, and nothing. Previously, instead of fairy tales, he told stories from his childhood for the night. But the language has not been vaccinated.

All the difficulties of living with an American wife are associated with different ideas about life. In Kyiv I lived in an ordinary apartment, but here we have a house. And the first time my father-in-law asked me, why don’t you mow the grass?

Yes, I think it’s growing and growing! Or taking off shoes in the house is difficult, but I’ve taught everyone to do it. Or the habit of spending money when you don’t have it. Or don’t turn off the lights, or in the evening, when the lights are on, don’t close the curtains... Or the always open front door - I closed it all the time, and my wife was always without the keys... Well, I couldn’t get used to the fact that everything was open - the car was open, in it my wife’s bag, there were all the cards, money, and then the door to the house was open... I was lucky that my wife loves to cook, and she cooks all the soups and everything very tasty - we had no disagreements here.

With Sasha and Cheryl. Photos from the personal archive of the hero

At first it was difficult to smile. I was brought up like the rest of us - Americans have all fake smiles! And I remember working in a store and couldn’t smile. By the way, I encountered this for the first time in the camp. The director called and said: “Did something happen to you? Why aren't you smiling? The children are afraid of you!”

And I think - why should I smile? Laughter for no reason is a sign of you know what...

And then in the store at the mother in law too. I had a small salary there, but there was a percentage of sales, and in order to earn it, I had to smile, communicate. At first I asked for a job at the warehouse. Everything is good with English, but I can't smile! But gradually everything returned to normal. I remember when I legalized, I flew immediately to my relatives in Kiev. And there he immediately felt how everything is not mine, how much I am American!

You smile and see the same reaction that you yourself once showed. In the store, the cashier immediately frantically checks the change - has it been shortchanged in your favor, otherwise why is he smiling? People look like I'm crazy. But I want to tell them - it’s you who looks strange, not me. You know, the Chukchi have an incredible number of words for the color white. Americans have the same number of varieties of smiles. But we don’t have them! Either we laugh, or with funeral faces. Why, our facial muscles, which are responsible for smiling, are not developed! It is physically difficult for us to do this.

From left to right: Carly, Sasha, I, Cheryl, Oliver and Austin. Photos from the personal archive of the hero

And Americans are also more honest... How many times have they given me money when I forgot about it. I remember my mother-in-law sold the carpet. And she didn’t receive $600. And the customer calls herself - you know, you didn’t charge me the full amount! I still can’t imagine such a situation in my homeland, no matter how sad it is...

In general, I feel uncomfortable there now. Everything is wrong - the toilet paper is hard, the toilet is uncomfortable, the bathroom looks like a cave, people don’t smile... Apparently, I have changed too much and become completely different.

At some point, I became so overwhelmed with information about all this that I decided to open my own channel on YouTube. I have two now. One is in Russian - it’s about this one-story America, it’s called “The Other America”, the second is in English - it’s for Americans, it’s “Ushanka Show”. Many people are watching. Many people write. It’s very interesting to receive completely opposite comments from: “I understand everything, I need to get out!!!” to “Thank you for telling me, now I’m definitely never setting foot in the USA!”

I sometimes read my diaries out loud there - my first impressions of the USA... I even wrote a book based on these entries. It's called "American Diaries".

Photos from the personal archive of the hero

Read also on ForumDaily:

How to get married in the USA

How to save a marriage in immigration

How to get a green card through marriage

How to build relationships with American in-law

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