What is it like for an emigrant from Russia to watch films about “bad Russians”

Shot trailer series Americans / The Americans

Russian communism crippled my family. Therefore, when you are pushed to sympathize with KGB spies while watching a film about “bad Russians,” it feels strange.

Column Karol Markovich for The Federalist in the translation ForumDaily.

After watching the first series of Americans, I had a strange feeling of tension. This episode about Soviet spies living under the cover of 1980 in America embarrassed me, but not at all in the way the drama series embarrass. I was rooting for the main characters, a Soviet couple under deep cover in the DC suburbs, because the series was shot that way, but I really didn’t like it.

I was born in the Soviet Union and came to America as a child. Unlike immigrants from other countries, after leaving the USSR it was not possible to return. You became a traitor, and your passport was taken away from you at the door.

Relatives you left at home could suffer because of your decision. My parents did not choose words when they told me how scary the Union was, and how lucky they were to get out of there. They called it "prison." Every year we celebrated the day when we came to America, our Americaversary.

I do not remember Russia, but I remember well what it is to be a Russian child in the United States. When I went to school, I did not know a word of English. My parents dressed me very funny. I was that kid with weird dinners. 1980s were difficult times for a Russian child in America. The cold war was pretty hot.

Other children were not the kindest children.

Some called me "commies." As a rule, I ignored it, but it still hurt, because my family was just anti-commies.

When my brother Ronald (named after Reagan, of course) was born in Brooklyn, I decided to lie about my place of birth. I got the details of my story: the name of the clinic, the city.

I was an American. My birth elsewhere was a mistake.

I root for everyone except Russia

There is nothing strange in rooting for the "bad" when they are protagonists in the television series. We all rooted for Tony Soprano, although we understood that he was a sociopath with whom no one would want to know in real life. But Tony Soprano has nothing to do with me. But I have enough stories about the evil of the Soviet Union, especially about the Jews, like my relatives. I have never been a fan of “Russians” in my life.

I was on the side of Rocky against Drago, naturally. It never occurred to me to root for Russia at the Miss World beauty pageant or at the Olympics. For such events, I took the rule to root for anyone other than Russia - as the Scots are sick "against" England.

If there was no America in competitions, any other country, except Russia, was suitable for me. I turned off the TV when the turn of the Russian team reached. The stories of my parents cut me deep into the subcortex.

My great-grandmother's father was arrested in front of his relatives for the fact that he owned a bakery when private business was banned. He was sent to the Gulag, from where he did not return.

My mother’s father worked in a regular position in the government, so after she left Russia, they didn’t see each other again (her mother was allowed to see her several times, but on those trips she barely spoke, since she was sure that she is being watched). And a million smaller stories about humiliation, discrimination and violence.

Relativism "Americans" breed confusion

“Americans” confuse me more than, as it seems to me, any other patriot born in America. I do not hate the Russian people, but the KGB agents? Real commies? Yes, I hate them.

But when Elizabeth plays back films from her mother (they are without subtitles, but I understand), and they are filled with boredom and longing for her child and grandchildren, whom she had never seen, it takes me for the soul just like a lullaby, My mother sang to my daughter in Russian, as she sang to me when I was little. I am again related to funny clothes, to the misunderstanding of other children, to attempts to fit in.

Russian is the language of my childhood. It causes a very strong feeling of nostalgia. When mother Elizabeth calls her the real name Hope, it touches a sensitive string in me.

I know this is just a show. This is just that girl from “Felicity” and that British from another series. But why then do I get on edge when Philip and Elizabeth compare America with the Soviet Union, and she says “it's easier, but not better”? I want to throw something on the screen. I understand loyalty to the country, but very few Russians came to America, especially during the USSR, and did not see that everything is objectively better here.

But the story tells us where the Americans will go. Philip and Elizabeth will not age in the struggle for communism under cover in America. What they believe will be “in the dustbin of history,” along with other discarded philosophies. It is interesting to see how things turn out for them - whether they will become Americans with American children, or return to Russia. I put on the first. Very few, having the opportunity to choose, would choose the latter.

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