How grandmothers can harm a child’s adaptation
We all love our grandparents very much, and of course they also love us. But sometimes not on purpose - accidentally and unintentionally - they give us trouble.
In response to a child’s question about why a grandmother is crying, you can invite him to ask her in person at the next conversation, because who can know better than grandmother herself, why she is crying? !!
In general, if your parents are prone to such manifestations of feelings, ask them not to cry in front of a child, explain to them that adaptation in a new place, meeting new people and everything new is so stressful for a child, especially since it’s difficult to see that his beloved grandmother is upset for reasons he doesn’t understand.
How good it was when ...
It is also a difficult and sad topic of conversation. Many grandmothers like to start nostalgic conversations with their grandchildren about how good it was when you all lived together in a cramped "Khrushchev", when you went to visit together and to the park around the corner, and now you are so far away and everything is bad ...
Probably, the grandmother will feel better after such a conversation, but the child again will have questions that will occupy his head, upset and not give to learn and get used to the new.
Talk to your parents honestly. Any normal grandmother understands that where her grandson is now, he is much better than in a cramped "Khrushchev", and even more so, he will be much better there when he grows up than it would be if he remained the same "Khrushchev". Ask your grandparents not to make your child nervous, and you, too. Only kindness, love and faith in the future is the best support that parents can give to their emigrant children.
You have completely forgotten Russian
Sometimes, when the grandparents talk, when they hear a speech from the child with errors, they throw their hands to the sky and begin to lament that the child has completely forgotten Russian, that this is just a catastrophe, that you, parents, are guilty and so on. Of course, it’s not pleasant for you and the child to hear it, and such words cannot help to forget Russian.
If possible, talk to grandparents about this, explain that you are working to ensure that the child does not forget Russian.
Tell them what you are doing for this, ask them not to focus on this issue.
Everything is strange there.
If you have never heard such a phrase from your parents, then you are absolutely lucky. Of course, different countries have different traditions, habits, even rules for raising children. This is what most often leads grandparents to a real shock: how, he does not yet know the multiplication table, why does he eat with his hands, why does he walk without slippers? All these and other questions will baffle you and your child, since these are not questions at all for local life. Grandparents should be gradually taught that they do a lot differently here - and this is not bad.
If your child has a good relationship with his grandparents, then the baby will certainly take to heart everything they say, because they are authorities for him. Grandparents should understand this very well and think before they say something harsh, offensive or cry.
The period of adaptation in a new society is a period when everyone, children and adults, perceive everything very sensitively, can easily get offended and fall into depression, which is very undesirable, because there is a lot of work and study ahead, a lot of opportunities and a whole new life.
It is much better to meet her with optimism and support of her relatives!
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