Chat etiquette: how not to write so as not to piss off the interlocutor

Text messages in chat rooms have their own unspoken code. A simple mistake could cause someone to misinterpret your message, or it could be annoying. What are the subtleties in the etiquette of writing messages, tells Readers Digest.

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You use a dot at the end

Yes, this is the correct way to end a sentence, but this point may make you sound insincere.

This is what researchers at Binghamton University found when they showed study participants a series of short exchanges, either in the form of texts or handwritten notes. The message was an invitation followed by a one-word response: “Sure,” “Okay,” “Yes,” or “Yeah,” with or without a dot. In text messages, responses that ended with a period were rated as less sincere than responses without punctuation. The effect was not the same as in handwritten notes.

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In a follow-up study that has yet to be published, researchers found that a text response with an exclamation mark can make your message feel more sincere than one that ends in nothing.

You are using too many emojis

It's perfectly fine to use random emoji to add some life to your messages, but don't overdo it. If your text is followed by a number of different emojis, or if you use emojis to replace words in your posts, this can be quite annoying.

In addition, some emojis, such as the thumbs up, may appear passive-aggressive.

You wait days to reply

We've all opened a text message, gotten busy and forgotten to reply, but if they didn't reply, it was very annoying. If you can't respond immediately, don't open the text message! Wait until you have time to respond so you don't forget about it. If you are asked a question that you don't have an answer to right away, let the other person know that you will get back to them later.

You don't check spelling

According to a Match.com survey, typos and incorrect grammar are the biggest deterrents for single women and men. You know what else annoys singles - and probably everyone else on the planet: abbreviated words in answers, for example, ss, dd, etc.

If you put in a little more effort in texting, it can go a long way towards further communication, or at least you can get an agreement on a second date.

You write novels all the time

Messages should not be super long, you are not writing a novel. Keep it short and clear, and if you have something to say, ask the person you're writing to if they'd like to talk on the phone.

You correct someone's grammar

People don't put as much effort into writing posts as they do into writing a thesis, so don't correct their grammar. Phone screens are tiny and our fingers are big, so many people inevitably make mistakes when texting. People rarely proofread what they write, as text messages are composed very quickly.

You apologize through a message

Here's the thing: you're not really apologizing. You don't look the person you offended in the eye when you ask for forgiveness. And there is no way for the person to see that you are truly sorry.

MIT sociologist Cheryl Turkle said: “A face-to-face apology is a classic place where we learn empathy. If you apologize to me, I soften because I see that you are genuinely upset - and you can see that I sympathize with you. But if you type "I'm sorry" in a message and hit send, nothing will happen."

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The message of apology is not a tragedy, but both of you will get more out of it if you do it face to face.

You are editing your post

Your friend is texting you to see if you're angry at a comment they made the night before. You do not get angry and write: "It's okay." But then you delete that text on your phone, trying to come up with something more soothing. And while your friend is watching, these little bubbles appear and disappear, indicating what you are typing and deleting. He thinks that you are furious, that you are confused, he is worried, waiting.

Think (or draft) an answer before you print the final version.

You are typing a movie message

According to the Consumer Mobility Trends Report from Bank of America, the movie theater is the most annoying place to use a smartphone. Of course, you may not be on the phone, but everyone around you can see and be distracted by this glowing blue light while you are typing a message.

Religious institutions and restaurants ranked second and third among the most annoying places to use a phone. The same survey also showed that four out of ten people text while eating, and about a third of respondents check their phone while talking.

You send mailing to the entire phone book at once

Small group writing can be wonderful and effective. You buy your parents a gift on behalf of your siblings and tell them how much money each owes you - that's fine. You have chosen a restaurant for lunch and sent the address to your colleagues - effectively.

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But when you send the same template messages to everyone you know, it's annoying. Make your messages more personal or simply copy and paste them to individual friends. If you receive a giant group message, reply only to the sender.

You send each word as a separate message

It's amazing to see nine new text messages that basically boil down to one thought.

You send messages to get a call back

You called a friend, but she did not pick up the phone. Maybe she was driving or was busy. Maybe she just did not want to talk to you at that particular moment - and now she has two messages from you that she cannot answer at this particular moment. When it's not an emergency, it's really redundant.

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