Fleeing from homophobia, and then from war: the story of a Belarusian who got to the USA on the 11th attempt

Sergey - singer, a screenwriter and actor with ten years of experience, has faced discrimination and homophobia all his life, and recently had to flee the war in Ukraine. A 35-year-old Belarusian, who arrived in Kyiv a couple of weeks before the Russian invasion and then ended up in the United States, shared with our editors the details of his trip.

Photo: IStock

Sergey flew to Mexico and crossed the US border on the 11th attempt. He applied for asylum as a victim of homophobia.

“I was beaten at school when I was 15 years old. After coming out, my stepfather kicked me out of the house. That same year, I was attacked on the street and suffered a traumatic brain injury - I had to get 3 stitches,” says Sergei. “The police simply released the man who attacked me.” And when I called the anonymous psychological support service, they told me that I was a sinner and should pray. Then I committed suicide, but I managed to survive.”

After 15 years, Sergei became an actor and musician who has been working for major brands for over 10 years (including with the participation of Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Hard road to freedom

Sergey moved to Kyiv from Belarus on February 10, 2022. The war found the guy in a foreign country without money, friends and relatives. He managed to cross the border with Romania.

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“I survived 5 hours of inspection by Ukrainian border guards of the “Belarusian spy.” They looked through every item, opened every flash drive, read correspondence, looked at personal photos, and threatened me with deportation to Belarus. Then they saw a document about an official invitation to work in Ukraine, put the “@” sign on the back of my admission sheet and let me pass on,” says Sergei. “I flew from Romania to Istanbul. I was very glad that the Romanian border let me through and I didn’t have to live in tents on the street. It took me 8 hours to get permission to fly.”

“The war presented me with a choice: to become a victim of circumstances or to choose my own path,” says Sergei. “I found myself without a home, a job and money, but, as they say, when you have nothing, there is nothing to lose.”

He decided to seek asylum in the United States, a country where he said he could finally be gay and free from harassment for speaking out. He also plans to continue his acting career in the USA.

Friends helped him with tickets to Mexico.

After crossing the border on the 11th attempt, he spent 5 days in a border prison (6 people in solitary confinement), and then 21 days in a migration prison in Louisiana. He says that there were more than 40 people in the cell, he and 79 others were transported on a military plane in shackles and handcuffs.

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He recalls his feelings after another failed tenth attempt to get into the United States.

“After another failure, I stand in the parking lot near the border and pay attention to the license plates of our car. I realize this is the first time I've seen California numbers in my life, and I'm very excited about this discovery. This sets me up for one last and successful attempt. “I smoke and look at the McDonald’s logo - the main symbol of America, known to me since childhood, and meditate on it,” Sergei wrote on Instagram. — I realized that it was better to meditate on something else, and turned on the online webcam with a view of the Hollywood sign to visualize the place where I wanted to be. On the screen there is a symbolic inscription “Wish you were here!”

Strength, performance and luck

The immigration officer took Sergei's passport.

“When I was released, I did not have any documents,” says Sergei. “But thanks to my drive and boundless desire to live, I was able to open a bank card, get a California ID, get insurance, get financial assistance from the state, and enroll in ESL classes at Santa Monica College.”

He passed on the rights, although he had never driven a car before. He was also lucky to find temporary housing - a person saw information about his difficult situation on the Internet, and provided the guy with a room, in gratitude for this, Sergey works as his assistant.

Career advancements are also already happening, as Sergei says. He starred in a commercial for a mobile game. “My dream is coming true!” he says.

LGBT support

After the suicide attempt, Sergei decided to devote his life to educating and supporting the LGBT community. He has been a volunteer for more than 7 years in an organization that provides free condoms, lubricants and referrals for free health check-ups - Sergey handed them out in gay places (squares, bars).

“They raided me, and I managed to escape. But during one of these raids on a gay club, my friend got into a fight and received life-threatening injuries,” the guy says. “And the killer received only 10 months in prison.”

After the law on gay propaganda among teenagers in Russia, Sergey recorded a song in support of them.

“It was very painful for me to realize that when you are at the age of recognizing yourself, the state not only does not provide you with help and protection, but also forbids you to become who you feel you are,” he says.

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Sergei notes that now there are many emigrants from Ukraine and the Russian Federation in the United States. He tries to help them adapt to the new reality.

“I often receive letters that my example and useful information about adaptation in the USA in my youtube channel helps them and even saves them from thoughts of suicide. And these letters, in turn, support me in the new country,” he says. “I want to tell everyone that you will be able to find help and support, even if there is no money and good command of a foreign language - the main thing is not to lose heart!”

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