What conclusions do men make for themselves from a campaign against harassment in the USA?

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Last year in the United States, the public actively discussed the topic of harassment and sexual violence. The first were public accusations against Hollywood top producer Harvey Weinstein, which cost him his company and reputation. Then there are media stars, members of Congress, judges and other men in power. The debate regarding the norms of behavior between men and women, which has long been brewing in American society, has come to the surface and intensified. Journalist Russian service "Voices of America" Alexander Yanevsky told in a blog in the column “My America” what conclusions he drew for himself and what other men would have thought about.

I'm a boy. I have been in a privileged position since the day I was born. Everyone around me should be running on tiptoes. Kiss all over. Prepare borscht and dumplings. All women must want me, fulfill my every whim, undress as soon as I snap my fingers, watch with my mouth open. I have every right to grab them in different places and tell them dirty jokes. A woman's world is her husband, her family, her children and her home. Kinder, Küche, Kirche. And if she wanders around, I have every right to teach her how to handle her correctly. You know what we're talking about. The main thing is not to leave bruises. This is fine. Because she is a stupid woman, and I am a man. Feminism was invented by women, for lack of sex. If he had, they would have behaved normally.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? This is how a misogynist thinks and behaves - a person who hates women. Treats them as an object, as property. Who considers himself better than them. Many signs of misogyny can be seen in world religions.

In Christianity, misinformation is manifested in the issue of the female priesthood, the position regarding abortion, in the silence of women in the church.

In Islam, this is Surah An-Nisa, verse 34. “Men are trustees of women because Allah has given some of them an advantage over others, and because they spend from their wealth. Righteous women are submissive and keep what they are supposed to keep in the absence of their husbands, thanks to the care of Allah. And those women whose disobedience you fear, persuade them, avoid them in the marital bed and beat them. If they are submissive to you, then do not look for a way against them. Verily, Allah is Exalted, Great.”

In Hinduism, the laws of Manu require that a woman should be subordinate all her life to her father, husband, son, relative, or, if they are absent, to the prince, and prohibit her from seeking independence.

Every year, more than 600 women die from domestic violence in Ukraine, and only 10% of women victims of domestic violence report this to the law enforcement authorities. 4 million Ukrainian women suffer from domestic violence.

This not normal. This is unfair. It makes you sick. At least me.

It is wrong to grope your work colleagues and give them massages when they are not asked to do so. The phrase “why does she dress provocatively?” is already misogynistic. If a person looks at every woman as an object of sexual desire, there is something wrong with the man, not with the woman.

One of the phrases that I remember in the United States when the issue of illegal acts of a sexual nature against women was once again discussed: “How about NOT ...?”: “How about NOT violence?”, “How about that there WILL NOT be sex on a first date? "," How about NOT ...? ".

“It happened this way,” “this is a social norm,” “these are just family values” is not an argument. Never was and never will be. Family and social norms are changing.

We - men - can change the situation if we consider ourselves to be the truly stronger sex. There is no simple recipe because the problem is very big. You can start small. For example, stop groping your work colleagues and telling dirty jokes. Stop discussing poses and how you would jump into a buckwheat with that blonde or brunette. Stop considering yourself gods. Stop raising your hand, first of all, against your own children. Learn to hear. Do not use the phrases “I am a man - I know better”, “You are a woman - you cannot understand.”

Write fairy tales and stories where one of the heroes is a woman who doesn’t need a man to solve a problem. Make films and cartoons where there are more women in the background and female characters have the same amount of dialogue as male ones. Wash the dishes. Clean the house. Participate in raising children. We are equal in our rights and freedoms. We must start with ourselves. We can prove to ourselves and others that we are capable of more.

It's a small step. It is very complex and difficult. I was very afraid of him myself. But what good am I—a man—if I can’t make the world a better place for those I love. After all, I am a boy.

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