American woman wrote a book about her experience of Russian motherhood

An American woman, Tanya Mayer, who raised a child in Moscow, wrote a book about her experience. She is confident that our country can supply Russian motherhood technology to the West.

When an investment banker was in the past, and now 38 is a three-year-old mother of three children, Tanya Mayer told her Russian acquaintances that she was going to write a book about Russian motherhood, she was told that this was not worth it, because mothers are bad in Russia. On the playground, they shout at their children wrapped in a hundred sweaters, at home they indulge too much, only excellent grades are expected from the school. But Mayer nevertheless decided, and released Motherhood, Russian-style at the end of last year. During the time spent here, she managed to try on her own children cereals, soups, long walks in a hat and Russian nannies and realized that this should be shared with Western readers.

Below are some fragments of the book.

About the fear of the past

“The most vivid memories of my pregnancy in Russia are connected with the ubiquitous advice and non-indifference of other people. Everyone asked about their state of health. Even the sellers in the stores became a bit friendlier, especially when they noticed that I don’t have a wedding ring. In Russia, pregnant women are not allowed to wear weights, men open doors for them and give way to the subway. It is said here that pregnancy is not a disease, but despite this, people around you treat a woman with respect and care. Maternity leave is planned so as to give the young mother the opportunity to relax and prepare for childbirth. I’m curious about what American women who work until childbirth would say to stay with an already-born baby for as long as possible (in the US, maternity leave lasts for 3 a month. - Approx. Ed.).

Mom and newborn

“There is an old belief that the first 40 days of a baby can only be shown to her husband, sometimes grandparents, and no one else. This custom is connected with the fact that in olden days a child was hidden from strangers before baptism. There is also a practical sense: Russian mothers treat the newborn as a very fragile being, which is important to hide from friends and relatives, to keep in silence and tranquility. I watched an American reality show - there, two dozen relatives went to the maternity hospital to visit a young mother, and then they returned home to their mother and baby with a barbecue party at the 40 man. I'm sure if you show these programs to the Russian mother, she will not believe.

One of the latest Russian novelties for young mothers is a special postpartum swaddling. A postpartum recovery specialist comes to your home and swaddles you very tightly. It is said that this method “helps the organs to get in place” and returns the body to the prenatal form. Another new trend is the use of soft Japanese diapers. ”

About grandmothers and nannies

“Grandmas in the West are more needed for entertainment than for help. My own mother - she is now 71 - is a typical representative of such grandmothers who collect photos of their grandchildren and come to visit twice a year for several days. Gifts, a couple of rounds in "Monopoly" - and home. When my children were crumbs, I asked her for advice — for example, how to calm my daughter, who cried for colic, what food she gave me when I was a baby, and was shocked when she said she did not remember anything. She walked around my apartment in London and only repeated that she had breastfed me for up to nine months. In Russian families, grandmothers start helping mothers immediately after discharge. They sit with babies, do housework, and mom has time for herself.

When I arrived in Moscow with a two-month baby in my arms and I had to go to work for a full day, I fell into despair. I would give the child to anyone, only to sleep a few hours. In the end, I trusted him to a middle-aged Ossetian with a broken Russian, but kind heart. I also hired a second nanny who worked for many years in a public kindergarten. Intuitively, I always trusted the Ossetian nanny more because I saw her sincere love for my son. Of course, she had flaws, but she didn’t do anything on purpose - she just had her own position on many issues. The behavior of the second nanny alarmed me, and in the end I fired her because she treated my child as if he were going to a state garden — to feed, walk, put to sleep and no love. ”

About treatment and nutrition

“It never ceases to amaze me that often the Russian mother trusts the advice of friends more than the doctors. I confess that I do not protect people who are engaged in self-treatment: I am sure that if the child is sick, he must be shown to the doctor and his appointments should be followed. But I take off my hat to Russian mothers, who are not lazy to read about diseases, look for information about health and sleep doctors inquiries. Russian mothers try, when possible, to avoid drugs, and at the same time, unlike Western mothers, they have encyclopedic knowledge of medicines. On the other hand, many of them continue to believe that vaccination is unsafe and prefer their children to stay “clean”.

In Russia, even babies eat a lot of porridge, not to mention older children. Porridge is the age-old Russian super. The most traditional of these is buckwheat, which is served with a piece of butter melting at the top. For lunch should be the first, second and kompot. At first, of course, only the soup.

Olga, a mother of three children and a very stylish girl, once shared an amazing photo with me. On it, Olga's children, a two-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son, drank homemade compote, a drink of beautiful orange color, made from - get ready! - dried apricots, raisins, wild rose, figs, with the addition of cloves and anise. Seeing this, I began to think about the boxes of apple juice that we give to our children. I was ashamed: we all must cook Russian compote for our children. Believe me, it will be a great addition to the rainy evening, when the whole family decided to stay at home.

In addition to the compulsory soup for lunch, mothers cook fish for their little ones — almost immediately after they learn to chew. Most recently, a Russian mother mentioned in a conversation that she was cooking dinner for her one-year-old child: fried cod and broccoli in a light cream sauce. Impressive? Me - for sure. I have never met a single person in Russia who would not like fish. I once shared with one large American mother, that my children love sea bass. She looked at me from like I'm from Mars! ”