My yours does not understand: what is the difference between the negotiations in Russia and the USA

About a third of business meetings in Russia are held just like that, half - not prepared in terms of the expected result. Foreigners are often unprepared for what awaits them at the negotiating table with Russian partners.

Dmitry Voloshin, Forbes Contributor, wondered what could irritate a foreigner during negotiations in Russia, after communicating with his friend from the USA. His friend asked him to recommend good employers and potential partners - and in the end it turned out that he did not understand some of the peculiarities of negotiations in Russia, which can surprise, irritate, and infuriate. Below is the author's text.

Unmatched target

It happens that difficult negotiations can take several months and consist of a chain of meetings. Unfortunately, not every one of them has a clear and consistent goal. Sometimes your interlocutor, bearing in mind other meanings, wraps up the conversation in an interesting direction to him alone. You are puzzled looking forward to discussing an important topic for you. The difference between interests can be so great that there is a desire to invite a translator. Yes, it may be a good practice to state that the meeting was not prepared. It may be worthwhile to leave such meetings at the very beginning, without wasting your time and the time of your interlocutor. But how much effort is being spent on logistics!

Probably the most egregious case was with me this summer. I was approached by a fairly busy person who asked me to meet and discuss some of his questions. The purpose of the meeting was stated - acquaintance, duration - one hour. I must say that the venue of the conversation was extremely inconvenient for me, I got there 2 hours in all possible traffic jams. The meeting itself took exactly 5 minutes. We shook hands, quickly discussed his question, and he made it clear that the conversation was over. I went out in complete bewilderment, irritated by the disproportion of my time and results. And I still had to go 2 hours ago exactly on the same traffic jams. What was it? Why did I come? What did I get? It was business negotiations, not a conversation between two friends. My mistake. It was necessary to clarify the goal "at the entrance" and make a decision about its feasibility for me.

Negotiations are like a party with old friends

And it also happens that the meeting turns into a pointless conversation for several hours. Yes, yes, there is. You feel not at business meetings, but at a party of old friends. And talked about the children, and about fishing, and the types of harvest. You try to get to the specifics, and she escapes, she seems to be out of conversation. It must be understood that some people have a different sense of time and a different culture. Relationship is more important for them, for them it is critical to understand that the interlocutor of a similar character and has the same traditions. And these long meetings are often viewed as a prelude to negotiations, where specifics arise only if the interlocutors share each other’s values. This should be borne in mind, not annoyed, and if your rhythm of life is not comparable with such logic, simply do not enter into such negotiations and protect your nerves.

Theater of one actor

I call a separate kind of aimless meetings “one-man show”. There are such negotiations when your interlocutor does not allow you to open your mouth. He will tell you about you, ask questions and answer them himself, come up with a dozen interaction scenarios and consistently mark them himself. Here, as in the English joke, you need to relax and try to have fun. Look at this as a rest, a break. In fact: you are sitting in a good meeting room, you are probably treated to tea or coffee, maybe there are even cookies. The person in front of you himself talks about his desires, criticizes them himself, helps you build the right communication. It is only necessary to nod and manage the meeting from time to time, asking clarifying questions. Yes, time is a pity, I understand. But if you know such a feature behind your interlocutor and the purpose of the meeting is clear to you, simply lay down the extra hour or extra three iterations of the negotiations in your schedule.

Fear of asking questions

Speaking of questions. It is amazingly rare to ask clarifying questions or questions for understanding. I think this is due to the fear of being incompetent. Believe me, this fear is a fiction. Nothing is more pleasant to the interlocutor than the counterpart, who shows his interest in questions. First, it is the attention to it and possible joint activity. Secondly, it greatly simplifies decision-making, since, while pronouncing the answer, your interlocutor partially develops his attitude towards the issue under discussion. Thirdly, questions can direct the meeting in the right direction, reducing its duration, or vice versa, extend the meeting if the interlocutor is set to receive a result only for himself. And yet, it is worth remembering that many people in general are not inclined to ask questions and take it for granted, without being annoyed by the subsequent misunderstanding.

Manipulation and pressure

Most of all bewilderment causes situations where your interlocutor is not inclined to win-win stories. It often happens that they just put pressure on you. In one company well known to me, there was even such a cultural peculiarity: first, press, criticize the interlocutor and his work, and then negotiate. Treat this as a game, do not take it seriously. Understand that if you talk to you, then the interest is already there. But pressure and such toy manipulations are a sign of either self-doubt or a particular culture. A special case of this pressure is the visibility of connections. This is a very common practice, when the interlocutor sincerely considers his acquaintances to be their achievements. I advise you to consider this part of the conversation as small talk, or as an introduction, the outset of the meeting. It’s bad, of course, when such an approach is combined with a “one-man show”, but if you look at it and the truth, like a theater, then you can save your nerves.

I believe that the true art of negotiations is maintaining an equal position. Do not speak "through the lip", do not devalue the interlocutor and the negotiations themselves, do not give ratings and do not judge. It is necessary to monitor facial expressions and intonation, they sometimes mean much more than words. I remember how I was annoyed in negotiations with a respected man that he often raised his eyebrows and frowned indignantly. It took me half a year to decide to tell him about my emotions and that I perceive his non-verbal manifestations as aggressive. His surprise knew no bounds; he sincerely did not want me and anyone else to think so. Since cut off, and negotiations with him have become much more comfortable, which immediately affected the result. I think that sometimes it’s worth talking directly about your emotions, although it is believed that there should be no emotions in the business.

Excessive emotionality

Probably excessive emotionality is the last of the very annoying ways of conducting business negotiations. I'm not talking about energy, about high spirits. Sometimes it happens that your interlocutor is upset about something, or even indignant, tries to be offended. It is not at all true that this is directly related to the fact and subject of your meeting. Usually I react to this simply, asking either to lower the degree or postpone the meeting. As a rule, nothing good comes of such a heat. In addition, the thought does not leave you that they are crushing you, and this is not a partnership style of behavior. Sometimes I ask to “turn off the girl”, and sometimes it works well with serious men for 40. But, again, try to look at it philosophically. Do not consider the pressure and emotionality of the interlocutor as a result of your mistakes. Keep it simple and always take care of your nerves.

We broke up with my “American” acquaintance buddies. He shared with me the peculiarities of negotiating on another continent, I spoke out on those cases that I considered inherent and special for our country. You know, and we did not find much difference. And here, and there are difficulties, and here, and there people remain people. Pursuing their goals, manipulating, playing, oppressive and emotional. But still such cases are becoming less. It is important not to take it seriously, to present yourself in the theater and not to squander one's nerves.

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