Life after death: how a Russian-speaking immigrant found and lost a loved one in a foreign country

Anna Medvedeva, a teacher of Russian, met her love in the United States. She met the successful microbiologist Alexei. Six months later, they got married, and their son Daniel was born. Alexei developed vaccines for HIV and malaria, but he himself was powerless against an incurable disease.

Photo: video frame VOA

If 3 years ago they told me what would happen to me, I would never have believed ... My name is Anya, I was born and raised in the small town of Stavropol in southern Russia. In the USA, I moved to 2008. I volunteered at a law firm that also works with Russian-speaking people. Soon after, she began to teach Russian.

They say that love does not come to your doorstep on its own, but in my case this is what happened. One fine day Lesha just came into my house. There is a backstory to this: I was looking for advertisements about hikes for a very long time and suddenly an announcement appeared in a Russian-speaking group that the guys were going on a weekend trip exactly like I wanted. Without hesitation, I signed up there. It turned out that Lesha was also registered. We agreed that he would take me and my friend - it turned out that we live nearby. He picked us up and in his car we drove to the meeting place with the rest of the guys.

It was the summer of 2016 of the year. This summer was very full of hiking, which are associated with very warm spiritual conversations, emotions. As soon as we recognized each other on this trip, I saw that he was a wonderful, caring, sensitive person, and over time, my feelings for him developed.

(Anna asked Alexey questions and recorded his answers to audio)

Anna: What is your main trait?
Alexey: Kindness, probably.

Photo: video frame VOA

This thought is astounding and sobering: a person who can go uphill for an 50 day with a 3 kilogram backpack can push up, run, pull himself up, and after only 9 months he needs help to just get up.

Anna: What is your current state of mind?
Alexey: Waiting for answers to questions.
Anna: What questions?
Alexei: At least about what is happening to me ...

When cancer was confirmed, it was not a big surprise for us. But Lesha had one of the rarest types of cancer. The doctors themselves could not guess and tell us with some certainty what the outcome of the treatment would be.

Anna: What is your idea of ​​happiness? What is happiness for you?
Alexei: Listen to how Danilka sniffles at night under a barrel.
Anna: And the misfortune?
Alexei: The death of loved ones.

We knew each other for less than three years before his death. Lesha worked at the FDA in a laboratory that was developing a vaccine against HIV - this was their main task. At the same time, they worked on vaccinations against malaria. He simply adored his work. He said: “I would work there all my life.” Besides the fact that he loved working as a scientist in the laboratory, he also saw beauty in things that any other microbiologist would not see.

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Lesha developed an interest in photography, and when a new stage in his life began, he decided to give himself a gift and buy a camera. He often wandered around Washington at night, taking some pictures. He was interested in playing with light, with different shapes. When I look at photos, I have a feeling - why was I in the same place, but I don't see things the way I see them now in the photo? This gives an understanding of how differently a person saw the world.

Anna: What do you value most in friends?
Alexei: Selflessness, kindness, generosity.

He was never afraid to seem too caring, to give more, to care about people. Even when Lesha was sick and one of my friends had an accident, the first thing he did was ask if she was okay and offered to come and help. He was such a person in life - he was never afraid to give more of his kindness, heart, love, money. At the hospital, he liked to treat the medical staff to sweets. When nurses or doctors came in, he asked if they wanted candy. Everyone started joking that he was such a candyman.

Many nurses said that he was not just an ordinary patient. One said that she worked very hard to leave work at work so that she wouldn't have to think about work when she came home. And she did this very well until she met Lesha - he touched her so much. Other nurses just cried in the room and said that they usually don't cry. My gratitude to them is simply endless. These are people from God.

Photo: video frame VOA

It so happened that I got to know Lesha’s family well precisely during her illness - it was that difficult period of our life when we needed help. Lesha's parents came for Christmas, but Natasha, Lesha's mother, never left until May. She was with us and helped us with everything. Of course, we couldn't have done it without her.

Such an irony of fate that I met Leshin’s cousins ​​after his death. Why do family members get to know after the death of the person who binds us? Why is this happening? We did not talk much at this time, but along with the pain of losing a loved one, there was still a sense of support and unity.

“When we met, we had a slight age difference,” says Natalya Medvedeva. - Why was? Because I realized how much I had lost my son and how much part of my soul had been ripped out from me. And the difference was only 10 years.”

“I am very proud of him in many ways,” says Vladimir Medvedev. “I am very proud of him that he was a leader among our children, what he achieved in his work, in scientific research. He was very proud and happy that he finally had a son, whom he loved very much.”

Anna: What is your favorite character?
Alexei: Probably dad is my biggest hero.

Lesha supported me very much when my mother was sick. My sister and her family came to the same place in Virginia Beach for the ceremony of scattering my mother's ashes - it was her desire, she did not want to be tied to the place. She wanted wherever there was water, there would be water. For me this is still the case. Lesha was with me at the ceremony and took the most beautiful photographs. Now I look at them and really regret that Lesha is not on them. It’s very significant that we gathered to see my mother off—I didn’t pay any attention to it at all at that moment. Now, when I look at these photographs, I understand that he is not in any of them...

Anna: What was your happiest moment so far?
Alexei: When you and Danilka from the hospital arrived home.

I can’t even imagine what would have happened to me without my friends. They are constantly in touch, if I need any help, they constantly ask what I need, whether I am alone, they organized so that someone would be with me every evening, or if I need help to sit with Danilka. And when we are far from our relatives, our friends become our family.

Anna: Presenting to God, what will you tell him?
Alexei: Thank you for the opportunity to live life, no matter how short or long.

When a person does not become, things that you never thought about appear. For example, what will happen to my facebook or email after me. Lesha, being over-organized, tried to make this process as easy as possible. He showed me all the important sites and passwords, they were already saved on his computer. Each time you close another site, as if another thread breaks.

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Anna reads a note to her son Danila, in which Alexei prepared a letter for him in English.

Photo: video frame VOA

“Danila, I’m your dad. But I'm sure you already know that. I hope. The only thing I want to tell you and what really matters is that I love you. I love you very, very much. And that's the only thing that really matters. And this is something that will never change, no matter what happens in our lives.

I have so many thoughts in my head right now. There are so many things I want to tell you about. There are so many things I want to teach you about life. It's very difficult to concentrate. I'll try to figure it out and write everything down in case I can't tell you myself. Honestly, this is what scares me the most. This may be the only thing that scares me right now. And if that happens, I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world."

When I look at Danilka, the thought very often comes to me that this child, my son, does not have a father. And how wonderful it would be if Lesha were with us. And this “would” is very interesting. Because if you think how wonderful it would be if Lesha were alive, yes. But there is another option for the development of the plot: if Danya had not been born before his death...

Anna: What is most important to you?
Alexei: It is important that you and Danilka all were well ...

Photo: video frame VOA

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