“There are no janitors or trash cans here”: the story of a Russian woman who moved to live in Japan

Photo: daily.afisha.ru

Catherine Moria, who moved to Japan and became a housewife, said, “Billboard DailyWhy the Japanese never confess their love, how to survive an earthquake and why voluntarily deprive themselves of their personal space.

Moving to Japan

Three years ago, I worked in a small cosmetics store, received pennies and lived with two alcoholics in an apartment. I have very good mother and grandmother, but unfortunately, the men in my family are addicted to alcohol. There were constant scandals, swearing and fights. During the hardest period in my dreams, I imagined Asia - it seemed to me something fabulous. I wanted to see sakura and try on kimono. I began to learn Japanese. We met Facebook with her future husband, Kant. I started to communicate with him to pull up my tongue, and after a couple of weeks we switched to Skype. Then I fell in love. We talked every day on 4 – 5 hours. He knew about my problems and eventually promised to take me away.

He came to me immediately with his dad - in Japanese culture, it is customary to meet with my parents. At first they were afraid to fly to Russia: many people from Asia are afraid of skinheads, theft and other criminal situations. We decided to meet in Petersburg. Kantu and his dad were impressed by the Russian open spaces, as well as the Russian summer - that it was also hot. The stereotype of Russia as a cold country collapsed. By the way, they liked Russian cuisine very much, but Russian sushi did not. They still remember them.

Photo: daily.afisha.ru

We got married half a year after our first meeting and decided that we would live in Japan: Kanty had a good job at a Japanese school and he could safely support me until I found a job. We were worried if I could get a visa to Japan, as many people enter into fictitious marriages, and the Japanese state strictly follows this. To our surprise, they gave me a visa after just a couple of months. I have been living here for three years, and I have to extend my marriage visa: the first two times I was given it for a year, and recently it was extended for five years.

What surprises Japan

It was not easy to get used to. For example, Japanese food was not as tasty as I imagined it to be, and sakura was not so pink. Even the Japanese are very restrained in relationships: they never say: “I love you,” especially after the wedding. Once I watched a program in which men were asked to send SMS to their spouses with a declaration of love. Many were very embarrassed, and their wives reacted very interesting - not one took her husband's message seriously, and almost everyone asked in response: “Are you drunk?”. Fortunately, my husband is an exception to the rule. Soon we will celebrate our third wedding anniversary - in Japan they usually do not, but we have an international marriage, so traditions are mixed.

Photo: daily.afisha.ru

What really shocked me was the lack of heating in the houses. Imagine how it was to fall asleep in three sweaters, when I used to always wear clothes very easily at home, even in winter. And in the summer I learned that in Japan there are a lot of huge insects and snakes. One of the highlights of this year is the earthquake: everything in the apartment was shaking, as if our house was rocking on the waves. I tried to get rid of the panic and figure out what to do, but it was impossible to move. We always know even about small earthquakes, because we receive a special signal to the mobile. And the third thing that shocked me is piracy, that is, open theft. Usually, the Chinese attack the Japanese ships, but the Japanese cannot do anything in response, because they do not have their own army, and indeed they are very peace-loving people, so they prefer to tolerate it.

About safety, jobs and the prestigious profession of a teacher

The Japanese skillfully keep their distance in a relationship, and they are also very tolerant. Here, no one will climb into your soul and ask unpleasant questions. For all three years that I live here, I have never faced rudeness. We live in one of the smallest prefectures of Japan: there are no theaters, large parks, and the whole city has one cinema hall. But the standard of living and comfort even in a Japanese village is much higher than in a Russian city. Here you can buy anything, but you can also take the washed laundry to a special dryer, and no one steals it, and everything is on automation here - from the doors to the wrapping machine of used diapers. Every Japanese city has its own laws on the cleanliness of streets, which everyone observes. There are no janitors and urns.

Photo: daily.afisha.ru

In Japan, there is no big gap between the poor and the rich. Most live about the same. And those who earn a lot, pay huge taxes, so that they can live about the same amount. In principle, all Japanese can safely buy new appliances at home. Machines have every family member. For me, this is still surprising, because my family in Russia has been saving money for several months before buying something expensive. Every Japanese house has a dishwasher, an air conditioner, a robot vacuum cleaner that drives itself, cleans and stands up again for charging, as well as animal robots.

Japan is no more patriarchal than Russia. The rights of women here are very respected, and in general they are better protected than in Russia, where, as long as you are not shaken with a stick, no one will do anything. Here you can be punished even for the fact that someone did not look at you. On cases where a man, for example, tried to photograph under the skirt of a girl, they say in the news. So safety is one of the main reasons why I like living in Japan.

My husband is a teacher by training, but for several years he has been working as a school accountant. Teachers have big loads, they work late. For family life is a minus. Work in the school system is very much appreciated, especially the profession of a teacher, because he must know everything - from mathematics to swimming and playing musical instruments. Their salaries are high. Many dream of such work, but it is difficult to get it.

I spend leisure time most often with my husband and child - we love to travel and visit nature. Sometimes friends come to me for tea or a walk, but this is rare. I keep in touch with friends from Russia, but it’s still easier to be friends with those who are close by. I have a hobby: I run a YouTube channel and a group in VKontakte about Japan. At first I made videos for my family and friends, so that they know how I live, but later other people became interested in the channel.

Photo: daily.afisha.ru

I could easily find a job - there are not enough workers everywhere, and salaries are big. But I liked being a traditional Japanese housewife, so I did not look for employment. I think if we lived in Russia, my life would have been completely different and, most likely, I would have worked, and Kant would have stayed at home with my child. By the way, in Japan it is not such a rarity.

How do Japanese housewives live

When I first arrived, we lived with my husband's parents, and later moved to my home. At first, communication with the Japanese was hard for me, because I didn’t speak Japanese fluently, so most of the time I spent with my husband’s mother. She taught me a lot. For example, she helped cope with household appliances, explained how to make purchases and use the cash register and car wash for the car, which implies only self-service. My family accepted me well - my husband has many foreign friends, so my parents were not surprised at his choice.

Housekeeping in a Japanese house is very different. Sometimes it seemed to me that the Japanese do absolutely everything differently. For example, it is customary to eat here with the whole family: if one family member needs to wake up at 5 in the morning, then the rest should get up at the same time to have breakfast together. And breakfast must also be prepared - the Japanese are very careful that the food is balanced, so the table should always be rice, meat or fish and vegetables. In my Russian family we ate together only on holidays, and the rest of the time we were all free to do what we wanted. In Japan, I realized that privacy had come to an end. This is felt even in the dwelling unit: in a Japanese house there are very small rooms, low ceilings and furniture. Children's rooms are especially small, and sometimes there are none at all. This is to ensure that the child does not move away from the parents and spend more time with the family.

Every day I load the dishes in the dishwasher, my toilet, bath, sink, wash. My husband will not put on the same thing twice, and I have also adopted this habit, so there is a lot of washing every day. I also vacuum the floors and tatami - this is a traditional Japanese covering like carpet, it is in almost every home. Ticks and molds are quickly turned on in tatami, if you do not vacuum them and do not air the house.

Last year we had a son, his name is Theo. We chose this name because both of us liked it, it is also not difficult in pronunciation for both Russians and Japanese. By the way, the Japanese can choose one name, and the hieroglyphs for it are different, so that no one can read the name of a stranger unless it is indicated how it is read.

The childhood of my child is spent in a calm atmosphere: in our family nobody drinks, does not quarrel, does not swear, we do not experience material difficulties. Japanese children do not want to quickly grow up and try all that is possible. You won't see fights on the streets here. I think that the craving for “adult life” among Russian children is associated with disrespect for the laws of the state. This applies not only to children, but also to the general population. Japanese laws work well, and nobody wants to break them once again. Here, they will never sell alcohol to a minor, and, before buying alcohol, you must specify the age in a special window on the cash register screen.

According to our child, it is clear that he is only half Japanese. Such people are called Khafu here, which means "half." A lot of Khafu become models and artists, work in television. I think that Theo should have no problems in the future with how his appearance will be perceived. Now, wherever we go, all we hear is: “What a handsome man!”

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