Why are American schools collectively punishing children and how to deal with it

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My ten-year-old twin daughters have an almost excellent school.

This is a common urban institution in the southern part of Brooklyn. At the same time, her 9 rating from 10 is possible, on Saturdays there are additional interesting math and reading classes in the school, more children are taught to play a variety of musical instruments, and 89% of teachers have a master's degree.

Everything is fine, if it were not for one BUT, which I no-no, I stumble over.

In this school, children are regularly punished by whole classes for the misdeeds of a single student. What we called “collective responsibility” in Russia, what is called “collective punishment” in the US, no-no, let it show itself in this educational institution.

It usually looks like this:

— Maria n. I chatted, misbehaved and did not listen when I asked everyone to shut up, so the whole class today is left without a walk.

All last year, when my daughters studied in the fourth grade, I struggled with this phenomenon in general and with teachers who allowed themselves such things, in particular. At some point I even wanted to translate for them the famous Soviet film “Effigy” into English.

“Understand,” I told them at parent-teacher meetings. — You are fostering bullying at school with your own hands! You send us, parents, brochures on how to make sure that a child does not become a victim of humiliation, and does not humiliate anyone, but at the same time you force our children to hate each other. My children don’t hate others who are more naughty just because, excuse my indiscretion, they have a smart mother. They complain to me at home that they didn’t go out again because of Andrew, and I tell them - the teachers were wrong! Don't you dare hate this boy because he might have a reason to behave badly - he's bored or something, he is, after all, a child who is forced to sit in exactly one place for forty minutes at a time! He could. But there is no teacher! This is unprofessional and illiterate.

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The most annoying thing is that the same Andrew, because of whom the class is constantly being punished, is an excellent and very smart kid. He's just bored - he knows the program by science in advance, he is the best in mathematics in his class, he writes excellent essays... But he cannot move to another class, to a higher level - he does not take tests well. And again, this is not his problem, but our problem. What to do if this rating system is considered the best? Unless you fight such a system. But while this struggle is at the very beginning, children like Andrew go crazy in class precisely from boredom. Not every teacher can occupy them with something separately. Our classrooms are often overcrowded, and paying attention to a child who is bored because he is overwhelmed with knowledge is not so easy. It’s easier to punish everyone at once...

I must pay tribute - the teachers in my daughters’ class listened to me, and this vicious practice in the classroom practically disappeared. But besides these teachers, there were also those who looked after the children in the huge auditorium, where they were gathered before classes, or in the cafeteria, and also on the street...

I patiently met with different teachers, talked, gave examples of prison and the army, where they practice collective responsibility, which ultimately turns the life of individual people into hell - if you didn’t have time to make your bed the fastest, everyone was punished. That is, when such an already embittered collective is left without attention, those who are punished will take full revenge on the culprit of the punishment.

In vain I postponed the trip to the director. It was a battle of loners with windmills. As a result, the other day, one of my daughters, the one who is not heard and not seen at school, the one that unquestioningly fulfills any teacher’s instruction, came home and declared that she would not go to this school anymore and that she be urgently transferred to another. It turned out that again, on the second day of their studies, on a sunny and beautiful September day, they were left in a sweltering audience, where they were forbidden to talk and were seated even through an armchair, because they behaved badly. Although in fact the teacher could not calm down just three boys. But because of these three still suffered 25.

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- How so? — I asked my American friends. — Are we so “lucky” with the school or is this a mass phenomenon?

Many immediately rushed to convince me that this is an isolated and rare case. Many, but not all.

“Get ready, my dear, that you will encounter this again and again,” a friend from Pennsylvania, Svetlana Penkhasova, told me. — My eldest daughter’s fourth grade was even canceled field trip because of two children! And it was like this: they didn’t just cancel the trip, but change to something else, worse, because the children are punished. For example, mine in the fifth grade should have been brought to caves and coal mines, but from the fact that several children did not obey, everyone was taken to crayola factorythat is interesting to children about 5-7 years. Of course, everyone went sour, and the teachers did not forget to remind “Say “thanks” to misbehaving. If it wasn’t (“Say “thank you” to these two students for misbehaving. If it weren’t for them, you would be looking at the stalactites in the cave right now.”) My husband then said that in our school, after lessons, the whole class would have taught them how to behave... But he studied in a Soviet school in Uzbekistan. In the USA no one will beat them after school, of course, but everyone will quietly hate them - is this really right?

- Sveta, did you somehow fight this?

- No. I was afraid that this would affect my children and my attitude towards them. You start to say something to the teacher, and to you - they must learn to live and work in a team. Where is the personal approach?

Svetlana Penkhasova. Photos from your Facebook page

Tell me, isn't this the plot for that same movie “Effigy”, but in an American way?

Another friend of mine, Anastasia, who lives in Los Angeles, faced a different, but also, so to say, “scary” situation:

- One day after another walk-a-phone (one of the types of fundraising at school. - Ed.) my daughter's entire class was left without the promised ice cream. According to the rules, each class could receive it, in which each of the students donated at least five dollars to the needs of the school. That year the teacher-parent connection was poorly established, and because of this and a heap of school events, I simply did not keep track of everything and we did not donate. And then the teacher announced to the whole class, because of whom it was they who were left without ice cream ... It was very unpleasant.

- How did you react to this? After all, the child could then be spanked until the end of the school year,” I clarified.

“The fact is that there were two teachers in my daughter’s class. They made up a very flexible, let’s say, schedule for themselves - who teaches lessons and when, who checks homework and when, and so on. They were bad at resolving issues that were not directly related to studies and lessons. They hurled general questions at their parents or passed them on to each other ad infinitum. I can’t blame them for this - they were both mothers of newborns at that moment. As a result, at some stage I stopped receiving important letters. And it happened... When my daughter told me what happened, I immediately took her to Pinkberry yogurt. And there at the table she said that I believe that the teacher did the wrong thing. Tell me, I asked my daughter, and if it were not for me that I had missed something, and we ourselves did not want to hand over this money? After all, this is a voluntary donation. That is, you are free to choose any option. I also called the behavior of the teacher manipulative. As a result, she turned everything into a joke, we both laughed at it, and my daughter now remembers this conversation at the table from that story.

Officially, the New York Department of Education does not report anything on collective punishment. But I talked informally with Maria, who worked at the school not so long ago as a coordinator for working with parents, and now she is receiving a master's degree as a teacher. She asked not to give her last name, said, they say, “she still has to work in this system,” but she shared information generously.

— The main thing they teach us in college is that you must raise active citizens! In the United States, civil society is active, and this cannot be allowed to change. But how to raise such people when the issue of collective punishment has not yet been resolved in the United States? After all, with such punishment we kill the child’s personality!

I worked as a coordinator in a large and good school in Brooklyn. It was located in a great area, had an excellent rating - and? And the teachers practiced it this way! The New York City Department of Education has never publicly supported such a practice and will never support it. But behind the scenes - yes!

I'll even give an example. Several years ago, at one of the high schools in Manhattan, students went on strike - they ran along the floors and crowded in the corridors. The school management was forced to ask the police for help - there were more than two thousand children there, and all this could have ended badly. The students staged the strike for one reason - the day before, two guys got into a fight in the school toilet. The fight became known in the office. And the director forbade all students from leaving class to go to the toilet. Only during breaks.

- Would everyone have time during the breaks? — I clarify.

- No. It was punishment for punishment's sake. The children answered it as best they could. When you are a teacher, the easiest thing you can do is punish everyone en masse. Believe me, no one thinks about long-term prospects, teachers at such moments think only about themselves and how hard it is for them. This director, whom I mentioned above, was known in the Department of Education as one of the most... what can you call it, it’s not even strict... well, yes, like such a strict perfectionist. And she was appointed director there intentionally. Was that school difficult? Difficult. Did things get better after everyone was punished? It only got worse. In addition to problems with academic performance and attendance, a behavior problem was added. After all, sooner or later any child begins to reason: what difference does it make how I behave if in the end I am punished anyway? And teenagers from high school can even become embittered. Do you think that director didn't know they would get angry? I knew. Did that stop her? No. Did this stop the education department? No. They have not made a single public statement regarding collective punishment, which is unacceptable in principle.

— It turns out that in New York it’s pointless to fight such a phenomenon?

“This is the biggest mistake parents make.” They turn a blind eye to this phenomenon. Many because they themselves grew up this way, many because they don’t see something very scary in it.

And I, as a person from the system, will say - the more children are punished in this way in elementary school, the higher the bullying will be in middle and high school. Although it appears in the short term. You definitely have to fight. Go to school and demand that this vicious practice be stopped immediately. You may be told that children should act as a team - this is the favorite answer of teachers who practice this. I will probably give strange advice, but you must answer that even according to the Geneva Convention of 1949, collective punishment is considered a crime! Yes, it was only valid in wartime, but believe me, this phrase is very impressive for teachers.

And most importantly, the more, more often and more actively parents oppose this type of punishment, the faster it will fade away. Another thing is that many parents consider this normal. Schools are afraid of publicity, no one will take their anger out on your child, don’t be afraid to fight it.

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I listened to all this and called the school principal. She said that I am categorically against those who did nothing being punished on an equal basis with those who are guilty. She said that if I still have to transfer my children, I will definitely check with the education department why I am transferring my children in their senior year to another school. She asked if the same thing was practiced, but with regard to school staff, for example, one teacher made a mistake, but the whole staff is punished. I said and felt that Maria was right - there was no need to accumulate complaints in myself, I should have called the director after the first time.

The director immediately took my side and said that this practice was unacceptable, that she would figure it out and everyone would walk, and let's try to teach the teachers ...

- How to teach? - I asked. “Nobody taught me, but I have three children, and I can’t imagine that one would make me angry, and I punished two more simply because I’m angry now.”

Not all teachers understand this, the director said patiently. They need to be taught and learn ...

The director really figured out, and all the past week my children were walking in the street, although the unfortunate Andrew again pined and went crazy, and then, instead of walking, he sat in the main office with the teachers.

I do not know how it will be further, but with all my love for American schools I will not allow to practice collective punishment with my children. Just because I love those very schools and I want them to become better.

If you are faced with a similar behavior of the teacher, then be sure to:

1. Tell your child's teacher that you consider such a punishment unacceptable and do not intend to put up with it.
2. Notify the school principal and child care coordinator.
3. Talk to other students in the class about this.
4. Explain to your child that the teacher was wrong. Make sure that the child is not negatively attributed to the person or person for whom he was punished.
5. If the situation repeats itself, write a letter to the school administration - the more parents sign it, the better. Make it clear that if the situation happens again, you will contact the Department of Education and the media.
6. Write a complaint to the local Department of Education.

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