Temporary home: families in the United States accept children from Ukrainian orphanages for the summer

Beth Roth with her husband and seven children. Photos from the family archive

In the USA, guest programs for children from orphanages in Ukraine are becoming popular. Volunteers are convinced that even a short time spent surrounded by caring “temporary parents” changes a child’s life. Sometimes it’s drastic: an American family decides to adopt them. Stories of Ukrainian children that do not leave you indifferent - from ForumDaily.

New home

Eleven-year-old Snezhana from Ukraine looked frightened and confused when four years ago at the Houston airport she was met by a family of Texas resident Beth Roth.

“We came up, hugged, she cried. The accompanying translator who flew with her helped us talk. She got into the car already calm,” recalls Beth.

Snezhana spent most of her life in an orphanage. She doesn’t even remember her biological parents - they disappeared from her life when she was very young. For some time her grandmother looked after her. But due to health problems, she was forced to send the girl to an orphanage. Grandmother visited Snezhana in the orphanage. But suddenly her visits stopped, and no one explained to the child why. The girl still doesn’t know for sure whether her grandmother is still alive.

Snezhana (center) among new friends from a temporary family. Photos from the personal archive.

“The first couple of days after arriving in the United States, Snezhana was very shy,” says Beth Roth. A family from Texas took Russian language lessons to communicate with their guest; the girl was from eastern Ukraine. Snezhana herself only knew a little English. Various translator applications helped us understand each other.

In the US, Snezhana's favorite entertainment was shopping, no matter the groceries or clothing. She was impressed by the abundance, and she liked to decide for herself what to buy.

“She loved to choose new products in the store, but she refused to eat them, she could only try a small piece,” Beth recalls.

Snezhana was lucky, and during her American vacation she found a family: Beth’s friends decided to adopt her. They found a common language literally right away - at the very first meeting, after a couple of hours of communication, the usually shy and modest Snezhana was already laughing with all her might with her future parents.

Despite the fact that there were already people in the USA who were ready to adopt her, according to the rules of the guest program, Snezhana needed to return to Ukraine, where they had to arrange all the necessary documents. The whole process took five months. Now the girl lives two hours away from the Rotov family and regularly comes to visit.

For Beth Roth, mothers of seven children, this was the first experience of organizing vacations for children from a distant Eastern European country. The decision to take the child from the orphanage was partly spontaneous. Beth is friends with the founders of the American volunteer organization Gugliemo's Hopewhich organizes such guest programs and brings children from orphanages for several weeks to the summer or winter holidays. And the Rotov family decided to give it a try.

Beth's family tried to make the holidays in the USA interesting. Photos from the personal archive.

As a result, Ukrainian children stayed in their house after Snezhana twice. This summer, they are again waiting for an eleven-year-old boy, who already lived with them last winter. Now he will come with his sixteen-year-old sister.

However, new parents were found only for Snezhana. But the lives of two other teenagers who stayed with the Roth family changed - constant communication with the guest family supported their self-confidence. So, Beth corresponds on Facebook with the girl Katya, who stayed with her in 2013, and then came to visit other families in the United States three more times.

“Katya now has confidence that her dream of becoming a doctor is coming true. She told us many times that she would hardly have strived to achieve this if she had not visited the USA - Beth, telling this, can hardly hold back her tears. “She knows that several families in America are worried, care about her and try to help. She can always call us.”

One family for two

Dinu Tkachev from Sacramento, California, a military conflict in Ukraine prompted the idea to help children. Dina and her husband are raising three children and are waiting for the fourth one to appear. Last summer, they became a guest family at once for two inmates of orphanages. Seven-year-old Maxim and thirteen-year-old Katya came to visit them. Sister Dina took her example and also invited two girls-sisters to visit the same summer.

“Maxim was so thin and shaggy when he arrived. We took him to get a haircut. During the time he spent with us, the boy gained weight and his cheeks appeared,” recalls Dina.

Back in Ukraine, the boy was diagnosed with a positive HIV status. This did not frighten the American family; the child had to simply take the pills brought with them three times a day.

Despite the fact that the woman speaks Russian, she has language difficulties in communicating with guests from Ukraine. Katya spoke Russian, and Maxim mixed Russian and Ukrainian. “I understood the boy, probably 50 or 60 percent,” admits Dina. “And they both didn’t speak English.” They were taught English by my children, who don’t speak Russian, but understand.” However, translation difficulties did not spoil the holidays, but, on the contrary, added more fun, the “guest mother” believes.

Children from Ukraine to the United States enjoyed simple things: going to the store or going to the ocean. Remembering her pupils, Dina talks about how important it was for them that adults had appeared in their lives, ready to take care of them.

Health care

Many children participating in guest programs have health problems. Organizers and volunteers are trying to attract donations that go to cover medical expenses for treating a child in the USA. In addition, charitable organizations support the desire of families to reduce the child to a dentist, oculist, or a simple physical examination. Parents are recommended to find doctors who are ready to give a substantial discount or provide a free service at all, in the form of charity.

Family Bradley. Bogdan on the right in a blue T-shirt. Photos from the personal archive.

Tasha Bradley, an elementary school principal in Texas, had a ten-year-old boy, Bogdan, from Ukraine, visiting in 2015. “I don’t know why, maybe because of poor quality care, but he had very bad teeth,” Tasha tells ForumDaily. — He spent almost the entire vacation at the dentist. He had seven teeth removed and eleven fillings installed. He had never known before that it shouldn’t hurt when you chew food. When we finished all the dental work, I bought him a milkshake. This was the first time he didn’t feel pain from eating.” At the same time, the dentist treated the boy’s teeth for free - the services were framed as charity.

The sons of Tashi and Bogdan became very friendly during the holidays. Photos from the personal archive.

Tasha herself has three boys, and it was important for her that the children find contact with the guest from Ukraine. And so it happened - he easily joined the Bradley family.

The only difficulties arose with food. “My kids get up in the morning and make their own breakfast: cereal, eggs, juice. But he couldn’t cook for himself, he didn’t know how. And we changed the order. Not only did the whole family have dinner, but they also sat down to breakfast together,” recalls Tasha. The first visit to a Walmart store was an event, not to mention trips to the Alabama beach, Houston and the Six Flags amusement park.

Summer in the USA gave Bogdan many adventures. Photos from the personal archive.

Tasha is now chatting with her pupil in social networks and is waiting for him again this summer to visit.

“It’s hard to know that now no one kisses him goodnight or hugs him before bed,” the “guest mother” shares her experiences.

How to become a guest family

Charitable organizations work with orphanages from a number of former Soviet republics: Latvia, Moldova, Kyrgyzstan. But most of all children come to American families from Ukraine. Joe Hershen, supervising guest program in Gugliemo's Hope, explains that there is a well-established communication system with Ukraine, and it is most open for possible adoption.

Joe Hershen with his children. Photos from the personal archive

Here are the five major volunteer organizations that have similar "guest programs":

1. Project 143
2. Frontier horizon
3. Guglielmo's hope
4. New horizons for children
5. Ukrainian Recourse Center

In addition, many US organizations involved in foreign adoption also arrange for children’s orphanage children’s holidays (for example, Rainbow Kids, Children of all nations).

To officially become a guest family, you need to go through several stages of preparation:

• Fill out an application on the website of the selected organization;
• Provide recommendations;
• Have the home inspected by a licensed social worker to determine whether the home is safe for the child. This is paid for by the family, the cost is about $700;
• Pass a family history check (background check), which is done by accredited consumer reporting agencies;
• Fingerprints.

Agencies specify the minimum age for parents differently. In one case they may be over 23 years old, in another – over 25 years old.

According to Dina Tkacheva from Sacramento, their family went through all the checks very quickly. It took a couple of hours to complete the application, the couple received recommendations from friends.

When checking a home, it is usually determined whether the situation is dangerous for the child. For example, they may ask about weapons - how safe they are stored. In addition, the social worker checks where the guest will sleep. “It is important to have a separate sleeping place - a bed or a good air mattress,” says Dina.

When the family is approved in the program, she begins to choose a child from a photo and a file on him. This information is on the website of volunteer organizations, and families get password-protected access to it. The dossier includes a short biography and medical information.

Next, the guest family is training. Formats, according to Joe Hershen, curator of the guest program in Gugliemo's Hope, can be different: personal meetings, webinars, communication via the Internet and telephone, video trainings. “The main topics: how to communicate with children from orphanages, how to establish contact, how to respond to the behavior of children who have psychological trauma or health problems,” says John.

The guest family also falls financially responsible for the child she brings to the United States. Joe Pershen notes that there are no requirements for a minimum income, but the family should expect that the visit of the child will cost several thousand dollars. For example, in Gueglielmo's Hope, the cost of preparing all the required papers is $ 2900 and it includes:

• The cost of collecting and translating detailed information about the child;
• Registration of the international passport for the child;
• Getting a visa;
• Travel insurance;
• Airplane ticket;
• Medical insurance;
• Ticket for the attendant.

In other organizations, the amount can range from $ 2800 to $ 3700.

Also, the adoptive family bears the costs of clothing, shoes, food, entertainment, and gifts. The amount of spending is determined by the parents themselves. They may buy everything completely new or accept things from friends. According to Jo Hershen, volunteers discourage excessive spending. “To spoil children too much is not good for them. Perhaps they will be adopted by a family with fewer resources than the one with whom they were visiting. They may think that because they spend less, they love less. Or it will be too hard to return to life in Ukraine,” says Joe.

The main disadvantage of guest programs is that they do not give 100% guarantee of adoption. Joe Hershena points out that potential guest families often ask if this is not a traumatic experience for a child. Program organizers defend the metaphor of recreation in defense: is it worth refusing to go on vacation in a beautiful hotel with entertainment and food, if you know that in two weeks you will have to return to work and to home visits? Guest programs show children from orphanages what it means to live in a family, they are taught to establish contacts.

Although at the official level, volunteer organizations do not have support, in state bodies they have a positive attitude to such initiatives. In the US State Department, under whose supervision foreign adoption is, in a written response to the request ForumDaily said: “Reports show that many children have a successful experience of participating in guest programs. Some of them can find a home through such programs. ”

In addition, guest families see benefits for themselves. Beth Roth says that she and her husband would not want their own children, who live in abundance, to take everything for granted. “We wanted to explain to them that many children in the world do not have anything close to what they have,” the woman notes. “It’s important that they are willing to sacrifice their own comforts to help children from Ukraine come here for the summer.”

See also:

Russian kindergartens in the United States: the pros and cons

How are kindergartens in America

Mother tongue: how to teach a child the Russian language in the USA

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