The curse of many immigrants: how to correctly correct your interlocutor who mispronounced your name

The names of immigrants in the United States are often mispronounced and misspelled. How to tell someone they got your name wrong without making it awkward, reports CNBC.

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When someone mispronounces your name or calls you something else, it can seem impossible to correct them. What to do in such situations? Interrupt your interlocutor? Wait and fix it later?

Harvard-educated etiquette expert Sarah Jane Ho prides herself on helping navigate these sticky situations.

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Ho is the founder of Institute Sarita, a school specializing in social conventions, and the host of the Netflix show “Mind Your Manners,” where she helps various “students” learn how to use etiquette to improve their relationships.

She recently revealed that she had to correct someone on WhatsApp about the spelling of her name. The key, she says, is to maintain quick and relaxed interactions.

“When you're correcting someone, you don't want to dwell on it,” she says. “You want to start and move on.”

Walkthrough

Wait for a pause in the conversation. Don't interrupt your interlocutor mid-sentence. Wait until there is a natural pause or until it is your turn to respond.

Speak with an open mind. “The most important thing is your tone,” Ho says. “When you lose your cool, that’s just the beginning of the negativity building up.” But if you keep the tone neutral, it won't be offensive." You can even pat the other person's hand to further demonstrate that you are not upset.

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Tell the other person that this is a common mistake, regardless of whether it is true. Ho suggests saying something like, "It's actually pronounced [say the correct pronunciation of your name], but don't worry, it happens all the time." In fact, this doesn't have to be true. “Even if the other person is the only one who mispronounces your name, just pretend it’s not so they don’t feel awkward,” she says.

Change the subject. Once corrected, quickly move the conversation to something else. In a small informal group, you can try to make a joke or compliment one of the people present. You just don't want the conversation to end on that corrective note.
When Ho had to tell a coworker that her name wasn't spelled with an "H," she used this exact formula.

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“I said, ‘By the way, my name is spelled Sarah,’ and then I wrote something else to change the subject,” she says. “I actually wrote two messages after that.”

The other person was receptive, she said, and they quickly moved on.

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