LGBT People Rejected by Family Hire 'Parents' via Facebook Group

Beck Muffelmann flipped through the For You TikTok page and came across an ad: a stranger offers to be around same-sex couples on their wedding day if they don't get the support of their biological parents. The publication told more about this type of service. USA Today.

Photo: Shutterstock

“There are parents who don't want to be with you on your big day. But we will take their place and be truly happy for you,” Daniel Blevins said in a video that subsequently launched the Facebook group TikTok Stand In Families.

TikTok Stand In Families is a place for 30 people who are either looking for love and family or offering solace. It fills the void some people face when their families of origin don't accept them, and sends a message: you are not alone.

Blevins, co-founder of the group, says he was lucky to have parents who never had a problem with his sexuality. He wanted to lend this support to those unlucky when he offered to be a "parent substitute" in his viral TikTok video.

According to The Trevor Project, 42% of LGBT youth "seriously considered" committing suicide in the past year. More than half of them were transgender and non-binary.

“It’s kind of a way for me to give them what I had,” Blevins explained.

The overwhelming response he received inspired him to form a band with his girlfriend Ray Otto. They chose Facebook as their platform for keeping the group's privacy, especially for people who haven't come out yet. Posts are moderated to keep the space safe for those who need it most.

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“This group provides communication so that someone can listen to them,” Muffelmann said.

Although the 32-year-old has a husband, she severed contact with her biological family in August 2020 - a year after coming out as bisexual and then non-binary in 2019.

“My parents didn’t really try to use the pronoun they when referring to me,” says the Durham resident. “So I came to the conclusion that I needed a break to give myself some time to heal.”

In the end, Muffelmann took her parents out of her life.

“It hurt, but it was less painful to leave than to try to force them to treat me the way I wanted. It was a situation where I was obviously sacrificing something to make them comfortable because they weren’t willing to put in the effort for me,” Muffelmann recalled.

She joined TikTok Stand In Families in early October, a few weeks before her birthday. Soon after, contacted another member, Sarah Beth Craven, and the couple had dinner. Craven later mentioned to the group that this would be the first Thanksgiving she would spend apart from her family. She and her husband joined Muffelmann at the party.

"It was emotional"

“One of the very first stories that comes to mind is about a mother who had twins who were in transition. She sought help to get chest binders for her twins, Blevins says. “She didn’t know anything about them, but she wanted to get them.” I remember how I cried reading the comments.”

This mom may have just been looking for advice, but the members of the group surrounded her with kindness and presented her with compression garments.

In addition to words of support, thousands of participants offered seats at their holiday tables. Others came to weddings and offered support. Some even traveled out of state to be there for others.

“I’m not an emotional person, but it was exciting for me,” Otto noted.

The group's co-founder from Wisconsin wished she had something like that as she was growing up.

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“I myself found a family through the group,” she admitted. “I went to Atlanta this year to visit someone who I consider my mother and spent a week with her and also found my brother.”

"He let us into his life"

John Wyatt from Tulsa, Oklahoma is also a member of the group. He and his son Kayden Wyatt rose to fame back in June on TikTok after hanging a Pride flag in conservative Oklahoma. The 46-year-old later joined TikTok Stand In Families.

He hopes to become a substitute father for all who need it. Some people have already helped.

The trans man and his girlfriend lived in their car in the Walmart parking lot during the summer, and they asked the group for a place to shower. Wyatt, along with his wife, Genell, provided them with a hotel room for two weeks, a gift card, dog food, and helped them refuel.

Wyatt grew up in a conservative family and did not always support LGBT people. But when he and his wife started raising their son and thought about the likelihood that he might be gay, they began to study the topic.

“My wife likes to say, ‘He didn’t come out to us, he let us into his life,’” Wyatt noted.

New members continue to join the group. Romello Clayton recently accidentally spotted a Facebook group and joined in to see what was happening. The 23-year-old felt he had to educate himself from a young age and was happy to quickly receive a warm welcome from a group with hundreds of comments after his first post.

“There are several people with whom I keep in contact,” he said finally. “And I go to them for advice or with questions.” It's definitely a good thing and I hope other people find this group and the support there too."

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