Why Russian emigrants are so intolerant to former compatriots in the United States
If you have been living in the United States for several years now, and you have experience of communicating with both Americans and former compatriots in the Diaspora, you probably noticed how much more tolerant Americans are of the opinion of others than immigrants from the post-Soviet space. Of course, the difference in views always exists in any society, and to defend one’s point of view is a natural need for a person of any culture. But the special "Soviet" intolerance affects not only ideology and political preferences. Its main distinguishing feature is a radical rejection and disrespect of others' experience.
But this experience may differ for different emigrants from different waves "to the exact opposite." If you arrived, for example, in Soviet times or at the dawn of 90, in the wake of the so-called “Jewish” emigration, most likely, you immediately received refugee status and necessary assistance, and America became a long-awaited salvation from the agonizing Soviet reality. If you are a young specialist who arrived on a work visa today, you may be faced with an unexpectedly competitive environment of large corporations, huge loads, high housing prices and you realized that it was much easier to get through and build a career at home than here. . It is therefore not surprising that some immigrants today prefer go back home.
If you won a green card, you may not be able to imagine the American bureaucracy until the end, even after living in this country for ten years. But if you have to wait for the necessary documents 5-7 for years, most likely you have a completely different impression of the work of the American system. By the way, a familiar immigrant from California told me that after she had successfully stolen a certificate of naturalization from her, even if she had documents certified by the police about the theft, she had to wait for two years to replace the document!
If you live in a small American town, most likely, you are pleasantly surprised by the simplicity and hospitality of the locals, but are annoyed by their excessive "familiarity" in communication. But if you live in the metropolis, it is possible that you are annoyed by beggars on the sidewalks, the eternal bustle, filth and indifference of the “stone jungle” - again, if you do not live in some quiet and comfortable area of this “jungle”.
However, it is not so easy to accept the fact of such a diversity for visitors from post-Soviet countries. Not so long ago, the editors of ForumDaily gathered three stories of women who married Americans at different times. One out of them out of luck right away, another was lucky only on the second attemptAnd the third marriage immediately very happy. How many frankly boorish comments from Russian-speaking immigrants had to listen (or rather read) those unfortunate who happened to face violence and tyranny in the family! They were accused of lies and propaganda, mocked at their sufferings and put forward versions of who, and with whose money "comes up with such nonsense." And such comments did not come from the “Olginsky trolls”, but, on the contrary, from those who consider themselves liberals, “progressives” and patriots of America.
By the way, all three of these women, despite their experience, are very fond of America, and have done for her more than many "sofa patriots." One of them heads a large organization that promotes democracy in Russia, the second has been helping the Democratic Party and Russian dissidents in the US for decades, and the third, even though it had to go home, still misses this country and its American friends, who turned out to be much better than her not quite mentally stable ex-spouse.
Almost every time I conduct a survey in an immigrant environment, some survey participants literally pounce on other participants who dare to share their negative experiences and, at best, begin to explain to them how wrong they are. An elementary understanding that the past cannot be changed, and experience can only be what it is already is, just does not occur to them.
Yes, propaganda and lies, of course, can and must be fought. Of course, there are things in which there is only one, absolute truth, and “relativity” is unacceptable here. There is only one truth in the fact that he started the war. There is one legally proven truth about whether a crime was committed and who committed it. In the case when we are faced with defamation, intends to distorted conclusions, false facts and accusations, it is very important to refute the lie and defend the truth. However, it is also important to feel the line between absolute and personal truth. Personal feelings, experiences, sufferings, sacrifices and personal tragedy are things sacred to most people in Western culture, and completely depreciated by many people from the post-Soviet space.
However, unfortunately, even some emigrants who have lived in the US 20 for years and more have retained the purely Soviet habit of demanding from everyone full compliance not only with their views, but even with their own ideas about what feelings, impressions and personal life you should have! Regardless of their political views, they introduce “political sectarianism” familiar to Russia into emigration, and are ready to brand a person as an enemy and a liar just because his personal story is different from what they would like to hear. Those of them who do not love America are not ready to accept a single positive word about it. Many of the people who declare themselves “American patriots”, with hatred, even attack those who only dare to mention their personal negative experience - in the best traditions of Russian “hurray-patriotism”. Unfortunately, immigrants from the post-Soviet space are often unable to understand that rudeness is not only a rude answer or unwillingness to communicate, but also attempts to impose on another person how to live and what to feel.
Yes, of course, a person can make wrong conclusions and generalizations from his experience, and one could argue with these conclusions. However, the attitude of rejection often extends not only to conclusions, but also to the slightest criticism of the realities that a person has actually encountered. It turns out that the victims of domestic violence should not even mention that any man born in America is capable of beating his wife, since “there is no bad American”. Is it not true that such a formulation is very familiar to those who lived in a totalitarian state?
Many Americans, of course, have another extreme: they are too anxious about someone else’s point of view, and often miss the moment when they begin to abuse their political correctness, and under the guise of their opinion inspire them a real lie. It is really difficult for them to distinguish personal truth from propaganda. However, even these misconceptions are based on a fundamentally positive principle: respecting someone else’s story, sympathizing with the pain of others, and giving people the right to live and feel as they see fit. Americans for the most part will not allow themselves to devalue the experience of others and give unsolicited advice, and this compares favorably with the "Soviet emigrants" coming to America.
stdClass Object ([term_id] => 1 [name] => Miscellaneous [taxonomy] => category [slug] => no_theme)Miscellaneous
stdClass Object ([term_id] => 15683 [name] => Our in the USA [taxonomy] => post_tag [slug] => nashi-v-ssha)Our in the USA
stdClass Object ([term_id] => 16228 [name] => Columns [taxonomy] => category [slug] => bloggers)loudspeakers
Read also on ForumDaily:
Let's face the crisis together and support each other
No one in the world expected a coronavirus pandemic, but she came in disrupting the usual rhythm of life and work of billions of people, causing panic and uncertainty about tomorrow.
ForumDaily also faced financial difficulties due to the loss of some advertisers due to the economic downturn and quarantine. But we are not reducing the number of materials and the mode of operation, since we want our readers to receive timely and up-to-date information in this difficult time. In addition, we support Local small businesses in the USA that suffer the most.
But ForumDaily is also a small business. Despite the loss of part of the income, we are doing our best to ensure that you are informed and armed with all the necessary knowledge to counter the pandemic and resolve other important issues during quarantine.
To maintain this rhythm of work, we need your help. We will be grateful for any amount that you are willing to allot to support our team.
Let's face the crisis together!
Security of contributions is guaranteed by the use of the highly secure Stripe system.
Always yours, ForumDaily!
Do you want more important and interesting news about life in the USA and immigration to America? Subscribe to our page in Facebook. Choose the option "Priority in the show" - and read us first. And don't forget to subscribe to ForumDaily Woman and ForumDaily New York - there you will find a lot of interesting and positive information.