Lonely on the net: can love be found on the Internet - ForumDaily
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Lonely on the net: can you find love on the Internet

Photo: blogionista.com

Everything is solved with one movement - not even a hand - a finger. If you move the photo to the left, you will never see this person online again. Right - and here it is, a chance to communicate. Online first. And then, you see, a real date will turn out. Dating sites and smartphone applications have long formed a separate industry that boldly competes with social networks. More than half of Americans believe that dating online is a great opportunity to find a partner or just have a good time. And the popularity of online dating among young people has tripled over the past 3 years. ForumDaily asked users whether it was true that the Internet connects hearts, and collected recommendations on how to make online dating successful and, most importantly, safe.

Like in the movies: lived in the neighboring streets, met on the Internet

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Irina and her husband Rick. Photo: from the personal archive

The story of Irina Green seems absolutely fantastic. As if you were watching a Hollywood movie, and not communicating with a real person. She moved from St. Petersburg to California back in the early 90's. She arranged her life here and even got married, but soon became a widow.

“I was 55, I was alone, and I didn’t know where to meet people. Home and work, I don’t go anywhere else. Even on the streets in our town, everyone only drives cars. So I started looking on the Internet for sites where I could meet people online and registered on several.”

As a result, Irina remained on the dating site. eHarmonywhere she met her love. He says this resource is good because it checks information about candidates. “Back then it cost $25 dollars a month. The site sends you questions, something like a questionnaire, you answer them, who you want to meet, what interests you. Based on the answers, they select people who are most suitable for each other and send you candidate profiles,” says Irina.

Irina spent a year on this site, went on several unsuccessful dates, and only then did she come across the profile of her future husband, American Rick. She says she saw that they lived in the same city, so after several days of correspondence she immediately offered to meet.

“We met in July, and already in November he proposed to me. He brought a box of cakes and said: take this, but just break it. I broke it, and there was a ring,” Irina shared her memories.

Her chosen one is a former FBI agent, 3 years older than her. They had a real wedding - with a wedding and a banquet, and have been living together for 8 years.

Get ready for a date in 7 minutes

Irina’s love story is unique, but not the only one. As the study says Pew Research Center In 2015, the popularity of online dating over 50 doubled. Moreover, 2% of US adults believe that online dating is a great way to meet new people. By comparison, in 59 only 2005% of Americans held this opinion. That is, the positive image of such resources is growing.

Florida psychologist Yulia Sinareva says this is not surprising. In online dating, a person is not limited by geography; personal presence at a certain stage is not necessary. And many people just can’t come up and meet someone on the street. "Uhthis is a good platform for people who are not very socially active, for those who need to think and weigh their answer. After all, online communication differs from personal communication in that it is very filtered - a person has the opportunity to think carefully about his answer.”

For example, in the application tinder, you are required to post 6 photos and write maximum 500 words about yourself. In the parameters, indicate the age of potential princes and the distance at which they should be from you. And that’s all - a selection of photos at your service. If you like it, put a plus sign and wait for a response. If the sympathy is mutual, a conversation begins. From registration to the first communication can take only a few minutes. Guys do not need to think for a long time how best to go and meet a girl on the street. And the ladies are deprived of the need to shoot eyes at the bar. Everyone is comfortable.

Among fans of such meetings in the network and the novel from Seattle, Washington. He enjoys tinder for more than 2 years, and thanks to him I got more than a dozen dates and pleasant acquaintances. “Of course, the main goal is to find a mate. But you can also use it simply to find company for the evening, for example,” says the guy.

He says that Tinder is also great for those who travel a lot - this way, in an unfamiliar city, you can immediately find someone to spend a day or evening with. “Everything happens very quickly - you can literally sit on the Internet for an hour - and now you already have plans for the evening.”

Katerina Dolinkovskaya from Kyiv does not agree to dates so quickly, but also confirms: online dating is not just convenient, but sometimes the only opportunity to meet.

“It’s like pimping - they show you everyone who is around and who doesn’t mind going on a date right now,” she says.

She admits that she doesn’t remember the last time she heard someone meeting someone, for example, on the street. “It’s even hard for me to imagine - where to go for this very acquaintance? If you didn’t manage to find a couple while still at the institute, it will only become more difficult. At work, the team may not be the same, and there is simply not enough time for entertainment,” she says.

A couple of years ago, she decided to sign up for several online dating apps. First - for the sake of experiment. She says, since she herself is a psychotherapist by profession, it was just interesting to find out what kind of people live on such sites. “And then I realized that it made sense and I thought: let me do this [profiles in dating apps] and for myself. " And Katerina did not regret it: she had more successful dates than failures, new acquaintances, friends and even a guy with whom the girl met 2 of the year appeared.

The taste and color: what are the applications for dating

When Katerina was just starting her experiment, she immediately studied all the available applications. And even divided them into 3 main groups.

“I roughly divided them into several categories. The first ones are for supposedly serious relationships. Where it is written, we want love, marriage. These sites contain the largest number of perverts. He can write to you 10 messages that he is committed to a long-term relationship, and then ask you to send a photo of your bare chest.”

The second category, according to Katerina, is sites where people are looking for a sexual partner, where even a profile photo is not always a face. And, oddly enough, the people there are more decent and honest. “I went on a couple of dates from a dating site, and this one is a great man, we still talk. The sexual line has long been closed, but it’s very friendly communication,” says the girl.

In the states, the choice of such applications is much larger than in Ukraine. Est thematic sites for example for christians, buddhists, muslims. You can find a friend and racially. And even among fans of one political leader. So, there is a special site for fans of bernie sanders [one of the candidates for the presidential nomination from the Democratic Party].

According to different ratings, one of the most popular apps in the US is Match. Using the site costs $ 13 per month, registered men and women more than 20 million, and a partner is selected according to several parameters: age, location, keywords.

Site eHarmony, used by Irina, costs $ 27-58 per month (depending on the type of subscription) and is designed for those who are looking for a serious relationship. You fill out a questionnaire, and the site automatically selects suitable candidates for you.

application Zoosk assures that in its base almost 40 millions of single people around the world, and the standard version can be used for free.

The principle of the application tinder described above, it is free to use. And if you want advanced functions of the site, you will have to pay: before the age of 30 - $10, after - $20.

If you don't want to meet complete strangers, you can try the app Hingethat is looking for a pair through your friends. That is, it will certainly be someone real, and with whom you have common acquaintances. They can, if anything happens, find out more detailed information about the candidate with whom you want to go on a date.

Site How about we looking for not just a couple, but also offers an idea for a date. You specify your location and read what are the options to spend the evening. Or create your event and look for someone to invite.

For double dates application is suitable Double, and whole companies helps to create a website. Grouper.

Online behavior

Despite all the variety of sites and applications, the rules of the game are the same for everyone. Roman says that information about yourself should be written as interesting as possible. And never start a conversation with just “Hello!” “Your profile photo should be just you—no friends or exes. And I advise guys not to yawn - if after a dozen messages you don’t ask a girl out on a date, most likely the communication will stop - if we talk about communication on Tinder,” Roman is sure.

Katerina also focuses more on personal safety.

"Online safety must be observed in the same way as when meeting in any other circumstances. When you go on a date, you need to leave your friends the name and contacts of your new friend. ”

Psychologist Natalya Prostun absolutely agrees with her: “In my practice, there was a case when a relationship began, a Ukrainian woman with a foreigner, and they seemed to be so tender and reverent, but in fact it turned out that the person came, stole and left,” says Natalya. She also assures that rushing headlong into a relationship with a person you don’t know yet is dangerous for your moral health. Therefore, you should only become attached when you get to know each other better offline.

Irina did just that. Already at the first meeting, she and her future husband talked all evening without stopping, and the decision to be together was taken very quickly. They travel a lot, breed and train guide dogs, and are confident: love and happiness can be at any age.

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