'Nenashi' in the USA: how immigrants from different countries survive in New York

If you take to read the stories of Russian-speaking immigrants, most likely, stumble around about the same story. Seriously, taking into account the style of presentation, the names of works and residential areas, almost all immigration subjects from the CIS countries will contain such elements: arrived, there were no documents, lived with rooms in the hole, worked in a restaurant / shop / driver, etc. , foolish fahrenheit and pounds, nostalgia, hard to find friends, dating once a week, in 35 they are not ready for a relationship. And yet, our films do not understand what to talk with them, poor manicure, expensive medicine, expensive rent, but still cool, watch me famously walking around Manhattan and eating oysters, I will not go home. And what about the others? For those with whose communities we do not intersect. How do they adapt?

Фото: Depositphotos

New York is a small branch of the world where you can meet a resident of absolutely any country. Looking behind the scenes of the lives of “not ours”, but foreign language and foreign cultural emigrants, you can find out what you think? That we are all different? Or that we are all fundamentally alike?

Trying to answer this question, I communicate daily with people from a variety of countries - from Nepal, Gambia and Bangladesh, to France, Spain, Australia and Puerto Rico. Some of them agreed to give me their impressions of moving to America.

Already even the way people come to a meeting speaks about their lifestyle.

1 history: Ibrahim from the Gambia

Photos from personal archive

- Let's meet at Chelsea Piers?

- How to get there? On the green train?

- No, on red.

- Is this on the East Side?

- Listen, are you sure you’ve been in New York for three years already?

This is how our dialogue with Ibrahim began. We met at work, I was a waitress, he was a busboy. In general, probably, only in New York restaurants can you meet lawyers, financiers, journalists, psychologists, and business owners. Once I saw Ibrahim in a respectable suit and tie, I realized that I could talk to him about something more than “bring bread to table 36” or “bring water to table 19.”

When we met at the interview, I understood why in three years in New York Ibrahim did not know how to get from the Bronx to Chelsea Pierce.

So, leaving his wife and two children behind in Gambia, the young tax accountant headed to America in pursuit of expanded professional opportunities. In Africa, it was difficult for him to feed his family, and his cousin, who had been living in Chicago for a long time, attracted him with excellent prospects and big money. Ibraim arrived and for three years now, 6 days a week, he has been working two jobs to save for his education. Part for study, and part for providing for a family in Africa. Ibrahim simply has no time to watch New York, go to bars and make friends. Therefore, he communicates only with his immigrant friends from Gambia who live in the same area with him, and the farthest place he went for a walk was a neighboring park not far from his home. It’s not yet possible to take the family in, so they live like this and haven’t seen each other for three years. So much for his American Dream. But I hope everything works out!

Ibrahim is still confident that New York is the best place to live, and bringing reality to the level of expectations is just a matter of time and effort. At the same time, he does not deny the possibility of returning back to Gambia, because he misses his culture and feels lonely in New York: work and home.

When asked about the cultural differences between Americans and Gambians, Ibrahim replies that Gambians are more hospitable and friendly, like to socialize and visit, they work a lot, but at the same time enjoy themselves and enjoy work. They are more open to the world and accept people as they are. (Knowing a few people from the Gambia, I can say that they are the kindest people I have seen in America). Gambians love people and share what they have. Therefore, Americans love to come to the Gambia.

Americans, according to Ibrahima, think only about paying their huge bills, and this makes them unhappy.

Here people do not trust anyone. While the Gambians also work, the main thing for them is family and communication, people trust each other. Neighbors living on the same street (not even in the same house) are usually familiar and spend time together. Well, even in our dialogue, my African friend talks all the time about family and people, so you can believe him.

Ibrahim believes that you need to get pleasure from life, because stress makes us older and sullen. Well, it seems in philosophy that the Gambia is more suited to me than the USA.

2 history: Armando, Mexico

Photos from personal archive

Armando has a completely crazy story, which, I think, is connected not with his nationality, but simply with his personality, but still. He found me on Facebook when I wrote a post about people living in Manhattan in an RV with two dogs. Armando said that he also had some experience of living in non-traditional conditions, and he offered to share. The meeting was arranged at the Moose Coffee House in Greenwich Village. Armando rode up on a bicycle, carrying all his belongings in the form of a lemon backpack in his luggage. When I say “everything,” I am not exaggerating, and you will soon find out why.

He came to America in search of adventure. An interesting story happened to our Mexican hero after an unsuccessful experience living with a girl. Unable to pay rent and insurance for his Mini Cooper, Armando decided to give up his apartment and live in his car. He couldn’t sell his car (for some reason), he installed a mini-dressing room, a cinema room, a refrigerator in the trunk, and thus lived and slept in a mobile home for 9 long months. I slept at minus 17 degrees in a sleeping bag and thermal underwear, without turning on the heater (the experience of a tourist-climber saved me). He even managed to make friends with a woman who lived in another car next door with her two young sons.

Verily, New York is a city of madmen. In order not to pay fines for parking violations, Armando parked the car near the construction sites so that the police would take him for an employee and not fine him.

This did not stop his thirst for adventure (and money). After living in the Mini Cooper, Armando finally sold the car and moved to Prospect Park. He lived there in a tent for another 9 months, worked at a restaurant nearby, showered at the YMCA, and rented lockers there. The resilient Mexican invested and continues to invest the money he earned in his business. Using 9 months of savings, he took out a bank loan and bought several lofts in Mexico, which he now rents out, decorating them himself. Armando Esposito positions himself as an interior designer, runs a design page on Facebook and hands out business cards.

America for him is a country for making money. Here he replenishes his treasury and then travels around the world. 45-year-old Armando has neither a wife nor children and will never see him in the future. The main thing is adventure. The more extravagant life is, the better, says the Mexican. And it’s easy for me to agree, looking at him, that extravagance is his main strong point. At least I have never met stranger people in New York.

3 history: Henri from France

Henri was a ninja spirit, leading a hidden battle with New York, so he asked me to change my name and not print a photo.

- Do you have wine? — the first thing I asked my friend as soon as he crossed the threshold of my apartment.

“I’m French, of course I have wine,” Henri answered with a terrible French accent, fishing out a bottle of good Bordeaux from his backpack.

Yes, perhaps this is a stereotype about the French’s love of wine, as well as the fact that they only love French-speaking people and cannot stomach the English, but Henri really always has wine in his stash, and we began to communicate and be friends solely because I speak French. French My friend even considers the voices of all Americans disgusting, women’s voices as shrill, and men’s voices as hers. This is where you realize that stereotypes do not grow out of nowhere.

Henri, like most of my friends from developed countries, did not run away from poor conditions and lack of opportunities at home (most Europeans travel on a work visa), but came here for love. His girlfriend won a green card and wanted to live in America in search of adventure. Henri reluctantly left his beloved France and followed his now wife. Later, the wife, again in search of adventure, fled to China, but our hero did not go there, he remained here to fight life and see the matter through to the end. His business is to expand the business of organizing street art and selling artists to interested parties. In France, Henri constantly organizes art festivals and successfully runs a business. America is still difficult for him.

It's funny, but Henri just does not have the typical problems of an emigrant. He has all the documents, he does not pay the rent, turning the cunning scheme to retake the rooms.

«I expected money and a comfortable life, but here it is not quite possible. In Europe, life is more social, people work, but they have more time for family, friends, parties. Moreover, in France it is much easier to get an education, because it is almost free. In America, I do not like the fact that for a good job you need to have a local education, but it is insanely expensive. This Europe is much better and more convenient. In America, to pay rent, you need to work at the weekend, and then there is no time left for friends, hobbies and family.

For me, the American dream is wealth. Therefore, I want to expand my business here and ideally live in two countries, more in France, of course. And until I get it, my battle is not over, I will live in America and fight.

The biggest challenge in America is making friends. In America, everyone is quite selfish, they only think about money. Besides, if you're an expat, you don't have time. You need to work and study. For the first two years I had no friends at all, but now it’s better.

Life in New York is not very different from life in France, as for me, but if you go deep into the country, you see these people and understand why they, for example, vote for Trump. They are stupid. I will explain. Americans have a position that America is above all, they do not like foreigners and immigrants. And the inaccessible education system is also pretty poor.

(In general, the French are quite direct, they do not hesitate to ask questions “head-on” regarding money, personal life, etc. - author’s note).

I love New York. For the fact that here you meet people from all over the world. How did life in the USA change me? I began to focus on money, while in France I was the main person and my free time. And now, free time also requires money.

Love is much easier to find in France than in America. And we have no such thing as “dating.” We're just spending time together. Unlike in the US, you can call a girl your boyfriend as soon as you start seeing each other many times a week, like twice. And this can happen within a week from the moment of acquaintance. We don’t have such difficulties as in America. And the fact that the French love affairs and open relationships is all stereotypes, just like the French kiss. Everyone says that he is only French, but I remember I kissed a Russian girl, and the kiss was exactly the same. And I noticed that Russian girls love affairs no less than French ones.”

4 history: Jakub from Poland

Photos from personal archive

I met Jakub on a bus from Westchester to New York, when we were both returning from filming Law & Order. I thought that his story would be most similar to ours, because Poland is, after all, a neighbor of Ukraine. But it was not there. Yakub spoke in a completely different way and about unusual things.

“I moved to America in 1996 as a cute Jewish 20-year-old kid playing with yo-yos. I was denied a visa twice, and on the third time everything worked out. I went to Jewish school as a Polish Catholic. Thanks to this school I came to America.

The American dream brought me here. I don’t know what exactly it was, but I always knew that I wanted to live in America, from early childhood. From the movies, I expected everyone in America to wear jeans and chew gum. This turned out not to be the case. I can compare this to an “online” relationship. You saw all the pictures in the best angles and colors, completing the image of the person in your imagination, and when you finally met, the reality was different. I was very amazed by the size of the people. I have never seen such huge asses in my life.

In general, I can not say that it was difficult for me at first in America. The process of imitation was fairly easy. I grew up in a progressive family, not in a third world country, so I did not know any particular problems with poverty and the need to survive. Most Poles come and work hard at construction sites, sending money to their families. I did not need to worry about financial support for my family, and therefore it was too hard to work. Mom was pretty successful in Poland. I did not have the culture shock, I was not surprised by the variety of foods and drinks. I wanted to learn the language as quickly as possible and assimilate with American culture.

I did not want to communicate with the Poles or other non-Americans. I listened only to American radio, met only with American women.

I didn’t come to America for money, maybe that’s why I’m still poor (laughs). I wanted to find myself! America was like a big sink that can suck you down the drain if you don't know what you want. And I still don’t know. I worked at Starbucks for 12 years, tried myself as a stand-up comedian, film maker, actor, but I’m still scattered and can’t figure out what exactly is mine. I'm not complaining though. I live in Manhattan, act in a TV show, write scripts for advertising agencies and short films, and this sounds like a dream. This is probably a dream. I'm actually happy, although I always want more. But isn't that what makes us alive?

Americans lack spiritual values ​​and God, in my opinion. Their god is material things, the cult of shopping. I'd like to change that. Buying things is, of course, good, but spending your whole life for them is somehow too much. I grew up in a Christian community, I am a believer. Although America constantly challenges my faith as many try to cast aspersions on it. If I write something about Jesus on Facebook, everyone will think I'm crazy. I am no longer a Pole, but not yet an American. I’m not ready to devote my whole life to making money, I wouldn’t want to become that old man who is unhappy because he worked all his life and didn’t have enough time for himself. I would like to earn big money doing what I love and not have to rely on shitty part-time jobs like catering, etc. But this is the sacrifice I pay to find and realize myself. The American dream is such a bitch. But you need to dream big. My mother always said that if you fall off a horse, do it with the biggest one.

I don't regret my life choices because they lead me to who I am. New York is a great place to live because here you can realize yourself in any profession, find out who you are. I love America and believe that it is the best place to follow your dreams. I never regretted my decision to move and did not want to go back to Poland. I don’t miss my homeland at all; most of my family lives here. But, of course, I would like to come there successfully one day.

In general, the more I travel and encounter different cultures, the more clearly I understand that, despite the differences, we are all the same inside, we want the same thing, whether it is a search for happiness or thoughts on how to survive tomorrow.

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