'We lost too many': why school survivors commit suicide

Mass shootings kill more people than the official death toll reported. People who manage to get out of these terrible situations alive cannot find peace for many years. They suffer from guilt, loss and post-traumatic stress. Sometimes it breaks the fate of entire families. Not everyone copes with the shock—the number of suicides among survivors is growing.

Фото: Depositphotos

37-year-old Zach Cartaya, who survived the shooting at Columbine 20 school on April 1999, knows all about it firsthand. He lost 12 classmates and a coach in the shooting, and over the past almost 20 years since the tragedy, several of his friends have committed suicide without surviving stress, writes USA Today.

“It’s like a stone thrown into a pond - the circles disperse in the water for some time. I understand this better now than when I was younger,” Cartaya says. “We've lost too many people along the way: this isolation, this grief, this anger manifests itself in the worst possible ways. It's terrible, it's devastating, but unfortunately it's not shocking."

For several weeks and months after the shooting at Columbine High School, the mother of the murdered student and the student whose best friend was shot dead committed suicide. At that time there were few opportunities for psychological help for survivors, besides, there was a prejudice against such help.

More recently, the series of suicides continued. On March 25, the father of the child killed in the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting was found dead by suicide in Newtown, Connecticut. Jeremy Richman's death was the third in a week and a half - March 17 and March 24 two pupils committed suicidewho survived 14 shooting February 2018 of the year at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.

49-year-old Richman was found in the office of the non-profit organization Avielle, named after his dead daughter. The organization was created to reduce violence and increase community compassion after the death of 6-year-old Aviel Richman during school shooting, which claimed the lives of 28 people.

Experts say there is a link between mass traumatic events, especially those involving children, and subsequent suicides in the immediate community. Nationally, suicide is the second leading cause of death for people ages 10 to 34, according to the Suicide Prevention Resource Center. Teenagers are especially at risk because they are often experiencing such a stressful situation for the first time.

Cartaya says he fought suicidal thoughts for many years and almost committed suicide four years ago. He was helped by his mother and psychological counseling. He organized his own non-profit organization that helps such people.

Former headmaster of Columbine Frank DeAngelis is confident that in 20 years, counseling has prevented many suicides that could be committed by people who have experienced so much stress. He also believes that the role of social media today negatively affects the survivors. Survivors of shooting at Columbine in 1999 were spared from victimization using social networks, and those who survived the shooting at Sandy Hook and Parkland faced large-scale online criticism. There were even those who claim that the shooting was rigged.

April Forman, a licensed psychologist working on the board of directors of the American Association of Suicide Surgeons, says that there is always a risk that one person’s suicidal behavior increases the likelihood of such behavior among others.

“I can guarantee that if two people take their own lives (Forman is referring to students at the Parkland school), there will be other high-risk children contemplating suicide or attempting suicide. I recommend that school officials and community leaders reach out to national experts and call for their assistance,” the expert noted.

Parkland administrators urge parents to use the so-called "Columbia Protocol" to assess the risk of suicide in children. The scale, created by a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University, offers three to six questions to determine whether a person is at risk of suicide and whether immediate action is required.

Cartaya and DeAngelis say survivors often think they're okay—and that's a big part of the problem. Months and even years later, the trauma can resurface with renewed vigor. The worst is anniversaries and even decades since the disaster. Experts encourage survivors to seek help when they need it, not just a certain amount of time after a traumatic event.

“Survivor guilt may not be obvious at first,” Cartaya says. “You think: I only have invisible wounds, they shouldn’t cause pain.” Who am I to feel these feelings?

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the US National Helpline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time of the day or night. Contact the Crisis Text Line for free, 741741/XNUMX, confidential text support at XNUMX.

According to the American Suicide Association and the National Suicide Recovery Line, you can help the survivor of the tragedy:

• listen without judging;
• call the name of the lost person to show that he is not forgotten;
• accept the fact of experiencing loss, which may include shock, shame, denial;
• avoid phrases like “I know how you feel,” unless you, too, have experienced a similar loss;
• Avoid tips on what they should feel or do;
• be attentive to them during the holidays and anniversaries of the tragedy.

Possible signs of risk of suicide:

• a person talks about wanting to die or kill himself;
• buys weapons, looking for ways to suicide on the Internet;
• indicates that it feels worthless or that it does not make sense to live;
• says that he feels unbearable pain or feels trapped;
• says that is a burden to others;
• increases the use of alcohol or drugs;
• behaves anxiously or excitedly, recklessly;
• sleeping too much or not enough;
• isolates itself from society;
• shows fury, speaks of revenge;
• demonstrates too drastic mood swings.

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