Moscow - Miami: how to move to the USA for love

No promises

The last day before departure, they both sobbed loudly, but did not promise each other anything. After my arrival in Moscow, we continued to communicate on Skype day and night. And after a couple of months I was already flying back. Going nowhere. Well, not quite to nowhere - to him. But I still had a hard time imagining what would happen.

This decision was given oh how hard. Probably also because I intuitively felt that I would stay. Most thought about parents. But the feelings overwhelmed me and I could not stop. I returned to Miami and we started living together. Found a job in a French restaurant near the house. I was in love and happy, but there was still a feeling of uncertainty.

New life

Only a couple of months later I learned that Lewis had already begun to prepare all the immigration documents in secret from me, so that I would not guess that he was about to make me an offer. So after a couple of months of living together I received a marriage proposal from a citizen of America.

There were no problems with documents at all, they collected everything they needed themselves (they did not hire a lawyer), went for an interview, there a very nice woman asked a couple of questions like “where they met” and “how we spend our free time”. And that's all. My English is free. I knew him even before moving here, and when I constantly speak English with my husband, in general, all the nuances of the language are quickly grasped ... At the time of the interview, I was already pregnant. As a result, the documents received within a couple of months.

On July 10, 2014, our Delsa was born. We took her to get a passport when she was 5 days old! Nobody knew how to photograph it; the head kept falling off. We went to 5 places in the area where we could take a photo of such a baby. I really wanted to have time to do all the paperwork for her and get home for the New Year. I started to miss it very much during pregnancy, but I couldn’t go - I had severe toxicosis for almost 5 months. So I was looking forward to the trip to Moscow. We flew for the first time when Delza was 5 months old, then when she was 9, and when she was a year and three.

How much is life in Miami

Rent a townhouse (three separate bedrooms, three bathrooms) in a five-minute drive to the ocean, in a good area one hour from Miami $ 2400. My daughter goes to the garden from Monday to Friday. We pay $ 840 per month (without power). For groceries, we go to the market once a week at the weekend. We buy fruits, vegetables, meat. There are enough products for a day on 4. Spend an average of $ 120 to $ 150.

Cons of life in the USA

In the US, I like it. Do I miss Russia? Yes. Regret that you moved here? Not. But, of course, there are moments of mentality. No matter how paradoxical, but those nuances of American existence, which at first led me to delight, then began to strain. I used to like very much that people look happier here, they smile a lot and don’t show their bad mood, as we can do in a shop, or an aunt in the mail, or even a restaurant waiter.

But what used to seem so cool to me in comparison with the Motherland, after a while, it began to gradually turn into a feeling of insincerity from one and all ...

There is another point that bothers me here - this is, in my opinion, unjustifiably expensive medicine. We have good insurance through my husband's work and still have to pay extra because it doesn't cover everything. I can’t even imagine how people who cannot afford this insurance live and raise children. I felt the difference in medicine especially acutely after the birth of my daughter. In Russia, doctors come to our home, but here you take a child with a temperature of 40, wait in line, and then they can tell you that since we are not made an appointment for today, the doctor cannot see us (I personally encountered this myself). Of course, you can go to the hospital if the case is completely critical, but that’s a different story and completely different bills. Now I’m used to it and it’s in the order of things for me, but at first it was hard for me to accept and understand this whole system. I thought: “Why should I take my child somewhere, but doctors come home to the children of my friends in Moscow??? !!” Yes, everyone constantly complains about free healthcare in Russia, but it seems to me that it’s good that it still exists as a fact. It’s somehow calmer, especially with children.

Well, these are probably the most important “cons” that I personally had to face. And I like the States, here I feel comfortable, here I met my love and this is the homeland of my daughter. Ideally, I would like to live in two countries. And, you know, I’m super happy, because so far I’ve succeeded. We spend a lot of time in Russia. My husband liked it there after his first trip a year ago (even the -20 frost didn’t scare him)) and now, if possible, he flies with us, if not, he lets us go without any problems. It is very important for us that Delsa is a “person of peace”; I try to teach her Russian, Lewis - English and Spanish.

I'm Russian!

It has come to me that it is not necessary to constantly live in my homeland in order to love her madly, it is not necessary to live with friends and relatives in neighboring houses in order to meet often. My friends in Russia see each other now more often than when I lived in Moscow. Every time I come, everyone knows that only now there is an opportunity for me to see that I will fly away in a couple of weeks, put off all my affairs and we meet. And when they lived in the same city, they could not cross over the years. Everything was postponed until later. I also began to celebrate the advantages in our Russia, which I had simply not noticed before.

For some reason, everyone is accustomed only to be indignant: it’s not so, it’s not that, “it’s only in Russia that can be so!” But in fact, we have a lot of things to be proud of. But for some reason, a person is so arranged that good is seen only at a distance.

Everywhere there are pros and cons. There is no ideal place on Earth, there is no ideal country where you will like everything. But everywhere you can find the best and pull it to yourself to the maximum. I love the country in which I live now, because here my family and we are happy here. But I will also always love Russia and be bored, because wherever I am and whatever language I speak, I will always remain Russian. And this is great!

Advice for the brave

The most important advice is not to build castles in the air. Before deciding to make the final move, you should, if possible, live in the country for some time. This is ideal. Do not confuse tourism with emigration! When you actually start living in another country, you encounter difficulties that you would never know about if you came here for a couple of weeks. For the first year, sometimes even two, people are mostly euphoric. Everything is new, unknown, attractive... And then everything starts to be familiar and not so exciting. You need to prepare yourself for this and understand that many things will be completely different from those in your homeland. It may happen that what was the norm there “doesn’t work here” at all. It is at such moments that confusion and longing for former ideals come. But, if you know for sure that the States are yours, then the second piece of advice is not to be afraid of anything. Because the USA is a land of opportunity, but it is conquered only by the brave.

Original article published in personal blog Maya Buriakina and reprinted with permission of the author.

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