Personal experience: what I did in Russia and stopped doing in the USA
Moving to another country is always a culture shock and a long period of adaptation. There are many nuances to which people have to get used to and adapt, but these are not always bad things, very often they are what can make us better, more patient and open. Author made in America blog on Yandex Zen told what she did in Russia and stopped doing in the USA.
Next - from the first person.
I’m no longer driving. In general, at home in Russia, I was not an aggressive driver, but all Russians are used to fast driving, and this is true. Here, in the USA, everyone is driving “a little sloth”, leisurely and relaxed, inferior to each other at intersections. Many can park for 10 minutes in a huge parking lot near the supermarket, and everyone else will stand and wait patiently. No beeps, but at first, looking at such drivers, my leg twitched nervously with impatience.
Close the front door with a lock. Well, of course I close it at night, but not during the day. In the area I have never heard of thefts during all this time. Several times I even forgot to lower the garage door at night, everything was wide open.
Maybe someone came to see me on a tour, but I swear, nothing is missing. Probably the main ingredient in this recipe is not to live in a criminal area.
Now to the neighbor’s question “How are you?”, I’m not telling you how excited my real affairs are., I understand that they start a regular small talk with me. We greeted each other, smiled at each other, a couple of phrases about dogs and children ran away. That, in brief, is the purpose of such a question. Shore feelings and emotions for Russian girlfriends.
I ceased to be surprised at racial and national diversity. In Russia, all come from the former Soviet republics. And here - different people and faces from all over the world, they change your picture of the world. You respect the differences of others and become more tolerant.
I stopped thinking that it was necessary to establish relations with the class teacher of children and other teachers. There are no parental meetings at school, all communication between parent and teacher is reduced to the exchange of letters by e-mail. At first it was unusual for me, it bothered me, I forgot to read the teacher's mailing lists, but now it is very convenient. I don't even know the names of the teachers and principals at my daughter's school. In Russia, I came to school once a month to find out some points.
Become less to buysuch as clothing. Although the choice here is certainly incomparably better. What is the paradox - I myself do not understand. Whether in the fact that now there is an opportunity to buy the best brands, and they are not cheap, the hand does not rise to spend so much. Either in the fact that here they literally impose a culture of consumption on you, the choice is incredible and you get tired of buying endlessly, all the best and best goods are constantly coming out, at some point you get tired of this cycle, you gorge on it.
I stopped looking through my eyes (sorry mua) poop in the grassbefore you sit down or play with the children on the lawn.
I'm glad that dog lovers clean their pets on the streets here, everywhere there are special containers with packages for this and reminders on the plates. The lawn is clean and created to lie, read and enjoy on it. I, like the locals, learned to sit on the ground and wherever I suddenly feel like.
I’m not rushing anyone and I’m not breathing in the back of the head at the checkout. In line to the ticket office, people here line up a meter from each other.
If you stand next to you, they will look back at you. Many vendors, especially in the southern states, like to leisurely chat with customers. According to my observations, it is at the checkout that grandmothers are often pushed to revelations. There is no way out - wait, pray, wait.
I stopped worrying that they might take my place in the parking lot near the house. Here it does not occur to anyone. Everything is numbered, laid out and assigned to a specific apartment. As a rule, 2 parking lots are allocated for each apartment.
I stopped thinking about looking for work in the office here. In the US, more and more people are working from home on the computer. For example, they appear in the 2 office every day, the other three work from home. Especially often this is used by young mothers.
I ceased to be shy to ask for a box in the restaurant to wrap the rest of the dinner with me. I stopped worrying about what they think about me. Here, the waiter automatically asks you at the end of the dinner whether you are taking the remaining food home. They take everything, no one leads the ear, it’s paid from your pocket.
I do not crash every day. Hooray! Here you can easily forget about all this cosmetics. And no one will think that you are lost to society and no longer feel like a woman. You are what you think of yourself. And women here think to themselves that each of them is a treasure, her dimensions are her pride, and her boyfriend has no choice if she suddenly decided not to shave her legs. Such a philosophy.
I ceased to wait for me to be rude out of the blue. Respect yourself and others - an unwritten rule of American society. The waiter, the homeless, the bus driver here says “sir” - just like a senator or banker from Wall Street. One - the only time in a year and a half I encountered rudeness in Miami (Florida) when our car was cut, and in response to our signal, a well-known finger was shown. But it even amused us at that moment, had not encountered this for a long time, we laughed for a long time, although by law they could easily sue the driver.
I stopped thinking where to rush to the toilet. Especially in the city center, especially with a child. Here you can go to any cafe, museum, shop and calmly ask where you need the “corner”. And you are not obliged to buy anything.
I try not to stare at strangers for a long time. This is very scary for the Americans, and they immediately begin to wonder if everything is okay with you.
In Russia, just that, I called right away. Here - I write SMS or speak with an answering machine. This saves my time and the time of the interlocutor, who may be busy at this moment. Although at first I exploded when I heard "leave your message after the beep."
I ceased to believe that the smiles of the Americans are false. A smile here is just an element of politeness, but to a person from Russia, after our directness, this seems fake. To be nice is to be a civilized person. I myself have now become generous with compliments and smiles, it costs me nothing, all together it creates an atmosphere of benevolence around.
Ceased to hear the neighbors behind the wall. If suddenly in the evening the neighbors became noisy, just go to them, make a “sweet look” and ask in an angelic voice: “Guys, I worry, are you all right?”
This is a signal here that they are interfering with neighbors and it is time to quiet down. Otherwise, I can call the police, and she arrives quickly and always, and the neighbors may face a fine or detention as disturbers in the area.
I ceased to be surprised at the number of people with disabilities on the streets. The street here is really a barrier-free environment. Buses with ramps, rides to the store, special car seats in supermarkets, social support programs, heaps of parking for the disabled. And to park an ordinary person in such parking lots, I'm sorry for the jargon - just dumb. Plus will be fined. In ordinary schools, and not in closed boarding schools, children with down syndrome and autism study in special classes with children.
I stopped arguing about politics. Everyone here has the right to their opinion, their views. They do not argue with this and do not try to convince you.
I stopped wearing cash in my wallet. Nearly. A credit card is your main financial tool here. When we went to a jazz club with a neighbor and my husband paid in cash at the end of the evening, our friend said that cash is paid very rarely, for example, when they spend an evening with their mistress and want to hide their expenses from their wife, which can be seen in credit card bank statement.
I stopped stroking street cats, because they are not here. For a year and a half I saw 2 cats and those on a leash. Cats don't roam the streets here, nor do stray dogs. Therefore, the remnants of meat and bones here have to be thrown into the trash, there is no one to feed. But under the porch I have a couple of chipmunks, squirrels come running to the balcony, and deer eat tomatoes in the garden.
Ceased to assess the status of people in appearance. Here, both millionaires and pensioners are wearing T-shirts. The first ones can only be recognized by the area where he lives.
I stopped talking rudely with children (it's ugly) and stopped talking which book you read (nobody needs this).
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