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Personal Experience: America and Domestic Violence

In his last article on women's lives in america One of the points was about domestic violence. On this subject I have a small personal story that I would like to share with you today, writes in my blog for “Yandex Zen”Alexandra Ukrainko.

Фото: Depositphotos

I attend free English courses at the Cambridge Public Library: this is spoken English for those who need it. This kind of help to immigrants who want to tighten their language.

Our teacher Deb is an energetic 70-year-old American woman, a former school teacher. She is already retired and as a volunteer teaches the language in the local library. I do not know what bonuses she has from this job, but it is clear that the process gives her a lot of pleasure: she constantly smiles, makes jokes and seems to have a good time.

If you remember from the movies, as in America they hold meetings of anonymous alcoholics, then you immediately imagine our activities. They all sit on chairs in a circle and say something in turn. This is also the case with us, only we are not talking about the problems of alcoholism, but about everyday life moments. And Deb, under another joke, is trying to understand our not quite English yet and tells us how it should actually sound.

In the last lesson, we discussed an unremarkable topic: "who does not like what and why." When the speech reached me, I told the class that I could not stand ironing. Deb laughed heartily, admitting that she didn't like it either.

“You know,” she said, “I buy only those things that do not require iron to interfere,” and she winked at me.

“I understand,” I continued, “but my husband’s shirts without iron feel completely unimportant. And although I only stroke them 5 per week, but this process pretty much drives me crazy. ”

Deb no longer commented on my answer, but called me after class. She came up to me and handed a business card: “Here is the address and telephone number of the social service. They deal with domestic violence issues. You can talk to them. ” I was taken aback and did not understand why she was saying this to me. Deb took my palms in her own and, looking into her eyes, said: "Alex, no one should do what she really does not want."

Фото: Depositphotos

Deb suggested that I was subjected to domestic violence in the family and the probable tyrant was my husband, who forced me (with beatings, blackmail or threats) to do what I did not want. And although in my family there was a mutual agreement and a simple division of labor: I take on certain issues (and the unloved shirts just come to me), and my husband closes others, the situation could be exactly what Deb suggested.

That day, I witnessed the work of the American domestic violence prevention system. The greatest number of people pass through educational and medical institutions; therefore, doctors and teachers are trained to recognize potential victims of home terror and to carry out the initial stage of educational work with them. If at that moment I really needed help, I could go straight from the library (or call) to the support center and get advice on my question.

A huge plus of all this work is that they are not only struggling with the consequences, but also working to get ahead of them (so that no acts of violence take place). And if in our country domestic violence in the family is often regarded only as an administrative violation, which amounts to a drunken fight in the park, in the States it is a criminal offense, and tyrants do go to jail not only for the acts committed, but also for the attempts, and also for moral and psychological impact and coercion.

loudspeakers domestic violence

Read also on ForumDaily:

How to get a green card if you are a victim of family violence

How do immigrants protect themselves in case of domestic violence

Green card hostages: how to find protection from a sadistic husband and avoid deportation

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