Communists: Conchita wants to poison Polina Gagarina with a kiss at Eurovision

“Kochita’s kiss can be poisoned,” warns Polina Gagarina, the Russian representative at Eurovision 2015 who reached the final, in a statement by the Chairman of the organization “Communists of St. Petersburg and Leningrad Region”, deputy Sergei Malinkovich.

“The bearded NATO member always hated Russia, but suddenly she began to fawn over Gagarina. Why did it happen? It cannot be ruled out that the kiss was poisoned - there is a known technology when, during this innocent action, a tiny syringe, imperceptible to a person, digs into the partner’s face, and the poison penetrates the pores of the skin.

It is unlikely that the envious Wurst will go for the kill, the idea of ​​the Russophobic transvestite is more sophisticated. The consistency of the potion transmitted through Judah's kiss may be such that in the final, at the decisive moment of performing a genius song at Eurovision, Polinochka can catch her throat, can lump up, or in general - if the poison is calculated by the hour - Polina's mind control can go to the western show technologists and she will sing something else ...

What can I say, Polina lost her vigilance, showed kindness and gullibility so characteristic of the Russian man. We must immediately subject Polina to thorough examination and analysis, and, if our version is correct, to transfer Eurovision, and to announce Wurst on the international wanted list!

“It’s time for our people,” the St. Petersburg communist concludes his tirade, “who are going abroad, to remember the lessons of the Soviet era.” Kisses only at home!

[Author's spelling and punctuation preserved. - Ed.]