The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.
Переклад цього матеріалу українською мовою з російської було автоматично здійснено сервісом Google Translate, без подальшого редагування тексту.
Bu məqalə Google Translate servisi vasitəsi ilə avtomatik olaraq rus dilindən azərbaycan dilinə tərcümə olunmuşdur. Bundan sonra mətn redaktə edilməmişdir.

What national traits should a Belarusian kill in himself if he moves to America?


What is the difference between a Belarusian who has arrived in America from, for example, a Hindu? A habit. We, one and all, look fearful deer in the hunting season. We are sitting on the edge of the chair, looking around, ready to immediately begin to explain why we are not guilty of anything.

In America, for immigrants there is a special word - transplant. The transplant leaves the plane, and around is an unfamiliar landscape, a suspicious climate, an incomprehensible language. The immune system strives to give Pendel. It takes long, patiently and under constant threat of rejection.

The biography puts pressure on the back of the head like a harness: we are people who have absorbed the mantra with mother's milk, “anything can happen to me”. Months will pass before the Belarusian understands that no one needs to drive him out of the place where he was let in so hard. First you have to learn to smile offhand, simple tension of mimic muscles.

This smile does not oblige to anything, but according to it determine your condition - only psychos, homeless people and policemen do not smile. This ritual is like a duel: snatch a smile and put on, who is faster.


I have long disaccustomed to consider strangers. Americans are very scared, and they immediately begin to wonder if everything is alright with you. It turns out we are very aggressive. Complaints against my aggression began to arrive as soon as I got a job at my first job. How could I know what they are doing here, and what is said, without triple reminders?

As for work ethic, then the Belarusian in America has two options: either throw out what was brought from the homeland to the dustbin and internalize the local one, or be fired. At first, I was threatened with dismissal for talking on a mobile phone, then for trying to fly with a lunch break.

It turned out that the circle of eyes, and very attentive. Then I quickly felt better, like after an enema, and then everything was fine. You had to get used to the fact that in a year of working at full time you get no more than twelve days of vacation, even though you fight with your head. Do you know what is paid maternity leave in California? Six weeks. Compared to Americans, bees are just carrots (idlers - Belarusian.).


The first two years you understand only 30% of what they say to you. It is necessary to read lips, guess by facial expressions. At first I did this: without understanding the belmes, I smiled. If the interlocutor smiled in response, then we moved on. If not, I started to laugh.

In the case of complete bewilderment, I had to admit that I did not understand a damn thing from the very beginning. Pretty awkward feeling. This trick helped me stumble through the first time in the States. Most often, the interlocutors forgot about me immediately after they realized that I was hopelessly slowing down.

American tolerance for visitors usually extends no further than five minutes, while everyone is touched by your accent. Then you can go to the alcoholic beverages. Anyway, nobody cares about you, even if you are at least seven spans in the forehead.

My American friend Matthew moved with his wife to Switzerland, where she came from. He says: “Normally, I can only communicate with her grandmother. After a stroke, her speech is like Chinese water torture. But I understand everything. ”


No one is more embarrassed about their English than we are. Hindus, Pakistanis speak such English that at least carry the saints. If only one showed a drop of reflection. From their own people, the defeatism is now and again heard: “I have nothing English, only a grammar would be tugged up ... Irregular verbs ...”. And the eyes are sad, like a cow before slaughter.

When I first got to a free seminar, where employees were explained the nuances of American health insurance, I decided at the end - this is a joke. Two hours vigorous lady tryndela something on the very hair dryer, invented by lawyers and government officials to fool people's heads without taking their hands out of their pockets.

After this seminar, ofige, I went to the personnel department, where I demanded an explanation in human language. They gave them there another 40 minutes, but it did not get any easier.

Medicine in America is a separate and very painful topic. If you want a short summary - you can’t get sick under any circumstances. Therefore, the Americans run, swim and ride bicycles, even in a state close to comatose, and in their hands burn icy blue iPhones.


Just do not have to bring home here. More creepy places than Brighton Beach, I have not seen in the States. I don’t know where they got it all - plastic trading equipment, as in the Stolichny supermarket, and those very monumental women. I walked and hiccupped in horror. South Brooklyn is the champion of the United States on the concentration of "Mercedes" and sports pants with stripes.

My friends, originally from Bobruisk, moved to Oakland from Houston, Texas. Bought a house, started a bulldog, addicted to dry wines. They work so much that their lives are like galleys.

They take work at home, and I no longer like the expression on their faces. When the daughter was born, both grandmothers came to watch the child on watch, each half a year, like oilmen. On New Year's Eve they cook Olivier and watch the “Blue Light”, where they have been the same person for thirty years. And everything seems to me - so they finish the red fish and sing “Black raven, what are you doing”.


No, this is not a struggle, this is work. Everything requires patience, so unusual for Belarusians. We grew up in the coordinates of miracles, in the words of Sheckley, give us everything urgently. And then a credit history, for example.

Without a credit history, you will not be entered into a contract for mobile communications and will not give a loan for a car (let alone a mortgage). Without a credit history, the landlord will not want to rent you a house, and you are looking for a guarantor and persuade him to believe that you are good and hardworking and will not demand your debts from him. I, however, passed and without a story, only then it turned out that the apartment was infected with mold.

I once pushed the bed away from the wall and saw black thickets of this shit, which we breathed for several months. Do you know how long a decent credit history is built? At least two years of fixed income and the same fixed costs, without missing a single payment. Patience, my friend.


I have been looking for a job for three months. Of course, I went to free courses, where I was taught to make a resume according to all the rules of this art. Three months of web surfing, searching and mailing resumes from nine to six daily. For three months I received five answers and all negative, the rest did not even bathe.

California is spoiled by skilled staff, and Bay area and say nothing. In the end, I started going to cafes and restaurants, offering myself. Only then I was lucky with one health food store. I was very proud of myself until my financial director once let it slip - it turns out that six candidates were trying out my position and not one approached, so she desperately took a chance with “a person who did not speak English at all”. And I had illusions about my foreign language.


There is a lot of it. After six months of free Californian life, the Belarusian finally relaxes the protruding jaw and the fists are unclenched. This is a wonderful feeling, just put the keys in your pockets, and then they fall out of your hands.

Motorists are like angels of heaven - they will miss, wave. Everywhere smiles, the air is full of the words "sir", "do you not like" and "how can I be useful." I did not hold cash in my hands for half a year. However, balance is an inevitable thing in this galaxy.

There is freedom to travel, but there is no time to travel. There is a car, but not to whom you are .... There is a mobile phone, and the homeless is the same. And the books you read are not interesting to anyone.

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