How I immigrated from bustling Kiev to a quiet suburb of Connecticut

My name is Irina. I'm from Ukraine. I'm 36 years old. I immigrate to the States ... It is a pity that there are no clubs of anonymous immigrants. I would definitely go there. It is the communication with the “self-similar”, the understanding that your experience is not unique, that your problems are the problems of thousands of others, help to accept the situation and move on.

I always told myself that I would never marry a journalist and an American. All because I am a journalist with almost 20-year experience, I know very well all the nuances and costs of the profession. As they say, a mother-journalist is a grief in the family, therefore one such grief for a family is quite enough. As for the preconceptions about the Americans, this was probably affected by the view in the distant late 1990's early 2000's incriminating speeches of Zadornov.

No, I did not think and do not think Americans are stupid, as the classic of humor liked to repeat, but I felt in my gut that we were from different tests. A visit to the States in the autumn of 2012 (I was part of a multinational program for journalists who were told and shown the nuances of the US electoral system on the example of the presidential race ObamaVs Romney) finally convinced me of this.

Photos from personal archive

But all these my ideas are easily turned upside down by my future spouse. As well as it was necessary to assume - the journalist and the American. True, I call him an atypical American, who has his own, completely non-American, vision and philosophy of life, money, the distribution of roles in the state and society ...

It was his American citizenship that at first was a deterrent for me, which scared and blocked my aspirations for our possible future. But my future spouse, being a wise man, in response to my concerns, fears and unwillingness to leave Ukraine, said: “Do not worry if you absolutely do not want to live in the States, we will live in Ukraine, if you simply doubt, no one will immediately drag you overseas. We will live here.

And we started living there. The spouse tried as best he could to find a job, but in the list of languages ​​he speaks, Russian, unlike German, Italian and French, unfortunately, did not appear, which complicated his search. There were several projects and projects, including with the participation of other Americans, who in different periods and with different motivations, mainly for a quick ruble, came to Ukraine, but in the end, my husband began to look for work at home.

The operation was so successful that one autumn early in the morning, having issued a petition on immigration for me and my son, he flew away to the west, and we stayed in Kiev. Wait ...

These long months of waiting, full of fatigue from the distance and virtuality of our life together. Since then, in 23.00 in Kiev and in 16.00 in New York, I turn on the reflex to grab the phone while waiting for the call from the FB messenger. This period is almost over, although I understand that it will never leave completely from our international, inter-Atlantic family and my close ties with Ukraine.

In place of the old came new challenges - life in the States. For me, Kievans with an active citizenship, a successful journalist and communications specialist, probably, it would be much easier for them to move to Washington or New York.

These cities, in addition to Miami, Los Angeles, San Francisco, choose compatriots for immigration. Probably because it is they who, according to the mythological vision of many immigrants, personify the great American dream, for the sake of which many of my fairly successful and wealthy acquaintances sell everything in Ukraine and move across the ocean.

But expectations often turn out to be expectations, and the American reality is much tougher. One close relative of my mom's good friend, a successful Kiev businessman, sold everything and moved with a family to a friend in New York. Now mom's girlfriend is sharing the news. In the States, they are already three years old, but still live with a friend. My wife has been looking for work for a long time. As a result, I found it, but instead of the promised $ 5 thousand, she gets paid $ 3 thousand.

Life in New York is not for the faint of heart. Even my husband, who calls NYC The City the most interesting city for him in the world, where he, as a teenager, often came from New Haven to hang out with friends, where he lived and studied, where he had many friends, would never agree again live in it.

Smog, which you can often watch over The City and its skyscrapers, crossing The BronxWhitestone bridgeexcellent proof of this.

This is one of the reasons, apart from, of course, the expensive prices for housing in New York, which drives Americans out of huge megacities. When I first came to visit my husband's parents, in Brenford - a town on the ocean coast, a suburb of New Haven, the once glorious capital of Connecticut or Connecticut, as the locals call it, was very unusual for me.

Understanding the city's system was extremely difficult. The center is not shopping, restaurants and bustling life, but a town-green. A typical picture for cities and towns in New England is an untouchable green lawn or park in the center and a quiet, measured flow of life.

Photos from personal archive

Then I realized that living in a quiet suburb, away from developing and commercial areas, away from highways and the invasion of cars, is the real American culture and life. True Americans are ready to travel dozens of miles for shopping at Costco or Stop&Shop, Talbots or Gaps, or lunch at Dinner or Su Casa - the main thing is that this place is away from home, where it should be quiet and peaceful, where you can see wild animals in the yard turkey or find a groundhog hole right under the porch.

In the evening, you can jump into the car and after 20 minutes to be on the ocean (although the locals strongly call it Sand) in the Hammonasset National Park with unique salt marshes, vegetation and living creatures.

Photos from personal archive

The fee for this life is quite high, the closer to the ocean and the larger the house - the higher the taxes. For example, the Branford annual budget is $ 100 million. But Americans are willing to pay for this luxury - a safe and secure life in the shoreline community. And I begin to understand them, the main thing is to have a job. After all, access to this life is possible only if your income is the income of the family upper middle class.

In Brainford, for example, the annual per capita income is $ 43 769 (on average in the States this figure is $ 31 099).

Honestly, here, in these strange and alien to us, visitors, small towns, and that “real American life” nourished by the ideas of the American dream, for which immigrants go, but “settling in noisy and cruel megacities,” don't get it.

Read also on ForumDaily:

The history of non-immigration: why moving to the United States is not the key to a successful life

Ours in the USA: how the surgeon and the lawyer fulfilled the American dream

Five different Americas: what you need to prepare, going to the USA

Do you want more important and interesting news about life in the USA and immigration to America? — support us donate! Also subscribe to our page Facebook. Select the “Priority in display” option and read us first. Also, don't forget to subscribe to our РєР ° РЅР ° Р »РІ Telegram  and Instagram- there is a lot of interesting things there. And join thousands of readers ForumDaily New York — there you will find a lot of interesting and positive information about life in the metropolis.