How the US is solving the problem of infertility: destroying the myths about surrogacy and egg donation

Many US residents are deprived of the happiness of having children. Among them are people with infertility or other health problems; people without a permanent partner; as well as same-sex couples. In recent years, such people have the opportunity to have a long-awaited child, thanks to surrogacy and donor eggs.

Photo: Shutterstock

Both of these procedures have a regulatory framework in the United States that continues to expand. For example, in February 2021, the state of New York will enter into force a law allowing the payment of surrogacy and regulating this process in detail.

From now on, surrogacy in New York will become an even more understandable and simpler process. For more detailed information on the legal nuances of egg donation and how to become a surrogate mother in different states of the United States, you can find out by consulting with specialists from donation and surrogacy agency Rite Options in New York.

Despite the prevalence of such procedures, they are still shrouded in a mass of myths and prejudices. Therefore, ForumDaily asked representatives of the New York agency Rite options explain the real state of affairs, debunk the most popular myths, and also tell you how to become a surrogate mother in the USA.

Myth 1. If you become an egg donor, then a new one will not grow up, and a woman will lose the chance to have children in the future

This myth contradicts female physiology. There are more than a million immature eggs in the ovary of a newborn girl; by the time of puberty (when menstruation begins), about 300 remain. In the body of a sexually mature girl, eggs are formed every 000–26 days. And if they are not fertilized, that is, the woman does not become pregnant, then they are destroyed and eventually removed from the body with menstruation. In fact, every woman loses one egg every month. Removing it from the body is a natural process.

В agency Rite Options in New York explained that one woman can become an egg donor up to six times. This once again confirms that the egg is not a unique organ of the female body, but a resource regularly produced by it, which can be shared several times.

Agency specialists clarified that not every woman can become an egg donor. She should be young - 20 to 29 years old, since it is the eggs formed at this age that are most capable of fertilization. It is easy to assume that the donor must also be healthy and lead a healthy lifestyle.

Rite Options Agency organizes a free assessment of the health status of potential donors, connecting them with specialized clinics. If a woman meets all the requirements, then for donating one egg you can get on average from 8 to 15 thousand dollars, and a plus in karma for making another family happy.

Photo: Shutterstock

Myth 2. A surrogate mother becomes attached to the child and emotionally suffers, giving it away

A pregnant child is not genetically related in any way to a surrogate mother, since the fetus develops from the genetic material of parents or donors. In fact, even the circulatory systems of the mother and child are not communicated in any way, that is, there is no relationship or "blood" connection between them and cannot be. For a surrogate mother, this is, in the full sense of the word, a "stranger" child, because the use of the surrogate mother's own eggs in this process is prohibited. The child will not look like a surrogate mother and none of her traits will be passed on to him, since they are not biologically related at all.

The process of surrogacy itself plays an important role in the absence of emotional attachment. Throughout the period of fertilization and throughout pregnancy, the woman communicates with the parents of the child and clearly realizes that this is not her baby, which makes her emotionally ready to give it up.

In the USA, women perceive this as additional income and an opportunity to help people - for this service through mediation agency Rite Options you can get up to 65 thousand dollars. Many use this money to pay for their own child's college tuition, finance a home purchase, or simply set aside a big chunk of money for the future.

Myth 3. Any woman can become a surrogate mother, but there are not so many who wish because of the harm of the procedure

In fact, there is a list of requirements for a potential surrogate mother that she must meet, which significantly reduces the list of applicants.

В agency Rite Options explained that only a woman who is at least 21 years old and has at least one child of her own can carry a child for another family. The upper age threshold can vary depending on the woman's health status. A potential surrogate mother undergoes a full health check and psychological readiness for this role.

Carrying a child for another family (surrogacy) is pregnancy with all the risks and consequences of this process. In some cases, it can even bring benefits (pregnancy often adjusts hormonal levels and corrects some minor health problems), and the understanding that through your mediation another family has found the happiness of being parents lifts the mood, which also has a positive effect on well-being and perception of the world.

The high fees for such a service in the United States, contrary to popular belief, are not associated with harm to health and compensation for treatment costs, but with the fact that bearing a child is not an easy task, which requires the woman to comply with certain restrictions and accept the physical discomfort associated with pregnancy for 9 months.

Myth 4. If you decide to become a surrogate mother, it is better to find a family on your own, there is no point in contacting an agency

You can find a family that dreams of having a child and is ready to pay for the services of carrying it on your own. However, most families and surrogate mothers do not understand the possible complexities of a transaction without cooperation with an agency and run the risk of being in a conflict situation due to legal or medical subtleties.

If you arrange everything through an agency, then experienced specialists in it help to resolve all possible friction between the family and the surrogate mother, and in case of a conflict they act as an independent arbiter. In the agency Rite options in New York, it was clarified that when contacting them, contracts are always formalized, which may not be the case in the case of an independent search for a family. Moreover, the surrogate mother is provided with a lawyer who makes sure that the contract is in her best interests, including a guarantee of payment and coverage of the costs of the pregnancy by the parents. The agency will make sure that all conditions are agreed upon in advance, and will monitor their implementation, ensuring the comfort of both the surrogate mother and the child's parents.

More compensation is often possible through an agency than with an independent agreement. Since the agency checks the honesty of the intentions and capabilities of each of the parties, ensuring the transparency of the transaction, namely, a better service for a surrogate mother and careful tracking of family expenses.

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