How life in the USA changes people: the personal experience of our immigrant

I have been in the USA continuously for about 8 months, not counting wintering in California a couple of years ago. Novice—that’s what my friends happily call me. Indeed, by the standards of immigrants who have lived here for five to seven years, I am that newcomer.

Photo: Shutterstock

How is life changing in the USA?

Dialogue with a longtime friend who loves shopping.

“Listen, and in which stores you can get a good leather jacket?” I ask.

“Oh, they don’t wear them here. That's how much I noticed, a windbreaker or sweatshirt at most. So there’s no point in taking it, you won’t even need it,” she says.

For me, the answer is a bit strange. I did not ask whether they wear it or not, to buy or not, but I was interested in a particular store. And during her life in the USA she noticed: I am becoming more intolerant of unsolicited advice.

I understand my friend. She has been living here for 10 years, another ten years older than me. I am sure that the council had a desire to help, to warn against a purchase that was unnecessary in its understanding.

I used to also like to give advice to my girlfriends - problems with a guy? Talk or leave. They don't raise wages at work? Negotiate or quit. I was very categorical. While now I realize: often a person is looking for support. Just wants to be heard. And I need to give advice only if asked. In the USA this is felt even more strongly; giving advice without asking is a violation of personal boundaries.

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Changes have occurred externally.

“You're smiling all the time!” And as if revived, there are so many emotions, ”write acquaintances who watch my videos on Instagram.

Frankly, this was surprising. After all, I smiled before. But apparently, in the USA, pulling the corners of your mouth up has become a habit.

At first she was uncomfortable. Here I am walking by the lake, a woman of about 60 is coming to meet me. She smiles and welcomes. A cashier in a supermarket asks how things are going and is also in full swing. They don’t know me, why? But gradually got used to it. She said that already on autopilot I was smiling at a stranger or was interested in the seller, like a day.

Someone will say supposedly falsehood, pretense. For me, now the norm is to share a piece of warmth or good mood with another.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. And so curious to keep track of it in yourself.

The original column is published in blog "Dumbless America" ​​on Yandex.Zen.

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