American irony: how an immigrant from Russia mixed up houses, almost became an alcoholic by court verdict and found new friends

This story may seem incredible to the average American, but it looks quite ordinary for an immigrant from the post-Soviet space, who has been familiar with Eldar Ryazanov's cult film The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath since childhood. Victor Kislitsyn (not his real name) moved to the USA in the 1990s, where, in a sense, he repeated the fate of the main character of the comedy film, albeit with a purely American ending.

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twin houses

The fact is that in America there are also analogues of the Soviet standard building. However, in this case we are not talking about high-rise buildings, but about one-story houses. If among the mansions of richer Americans it is almost impossible to find two identical houses, then typical box houses, on the contrary, are extremely similar to each other. Moreover, it is easy to confuse them if it is dark to return home drunk. If we remember that the hero of this story is an immigrant who at that time had not lived in the United States for long and had only recently moved into a similar house, his behavior becomes absolutely understandable.

Until late in the evening, Victor was feasting in a local bar with his recently arrived friend, whom he had not seen since leaving Russia. He went home on foot - he didn’t dare drive while drunk. Unlike the hero of “The Irony of Fate,” Kislitsyn was not in the wrong city, but only turned onto the wrong street. The town in which he lived was quite calm, and the locals, as is often the case in the USA, did not lock their doors. Staggering, Victor stumbled into the house and, without turning on the light, found the bed and fell asleep on it like a hero.

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“I will not say that the rooms in our houses were furnished in the same way. However, at that moment I did not have time to look at the situation. I made my way to the bed in semi-darkness, realized that I had found her, and went to bed. I really didn’t understand anything, and I still wasn’t really used to my room.”, the immigrant justifies.

Features of American rehabilitation

Unlike Soviet film classics, this story did not bring Victor happy love. Returning home and finding a stranger in their bed, the owners did not begin to sort things out with the uninvited guest, but simply called the police. Law enforcement officers took the violator directly from someone else's bed and took him to the department, accusing him of illegally entering someone else's home with the aim of robbery. Having sobered up at the police station, Kislitsyn tried to explain to law enforcement officers in broken English: he was sure that he had invaded his own house and, by the way, did not find any obstacles, except for the back of the bed, during the invasion. However, the police were relentless.

Indulgence towards the unlucky immigrant was shown only by the court. Having not yet received a green card at that time, Victor begged the judge not to break his life because of an unfortunate mistake and assured that he would never invade someone else's house in his life. Moved by his requests, the judge offered the violator the opportunity to avoid a criminal record in exchange for agreeing to undergo alcohol rehabilitation.

The newly minted hero of the American twist of fate, strictly speaking, was not an alcoholic and got into the delicate story described above precisely because he drank too much out of habit. However, the desire to keep a clean background before receiving a green card prevailed, and Victor agreed to rehabilitation.

The fight against alcoholism in the American way included, among other things, a long series of lectures on the dangers of alcohol, which the guilty Kislitsyn was obliged to attend.

«I actually almost became an alcoholic after that. It's no joke - for several hours a day you are told only about drinking. After that, you just can't think of anything else. If before I drank quite rarely, then at that time, after returning from these lectures, my hand involuntarily reached for the bottle”, the former rehabilitator admits.

Friends in misfortune

However, the second part of the rehabilitation program turned out to be a real godsend for Victor. The court ordered him to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. According to the immigrant, it was these people who became his first close circle of contacts in immigration and, over time, true friends.

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«Our friendship lasted for many years, and I still communicate with some of the members of the group. We became very close to these people, because we supported each other during a difficult period of life and helped each other cope with addiction. And although, despite the lectures, I did not develop an addiction in the strict sense of the word, their support was still important to me.", - Victor shares.

The immigrant managed to stay safely in the United States, build his own business, and even eventually buy his own house.

«When choosing a house, I paid attention first of all to the fact that it was at some distance from the rest and did not look like others. I'm not sure that next time I'll be as lucky as the previous one”, Viktor Kislitsyn sums up.

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