IQ is not the main thing: nine ways to raise a child as a successful person - ForumDaily
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IQ is not the main thing: nine ways to raise a child to be a successful person

Research shows that persistence is the No. 1 skill that separates highly motivated children from those who give up easily. In fact, research has confirmed that it is a stronger predictor of success than IQ, reports CNBC.

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Persistent kids don't give up in the face of setbacks. They believe that their efforts will pay off, so they remain motivated to work hard and finish what they start, despite any obstacles that arise.

Here are nine ways parents can help their children develop perseverance:

1. Combat factors that scare children away

The first step is to combat the four factors that undermine persistence.

Fatigue: Protect your child's ability to concentrate by sticking to regular sleep patterns. Turn off devices an hour before bed and keep them outside of the bedroom at night.

Anxiety: The desire to succeed can cause overpowering feelings. Explain to your child that your love does not depend on his success.

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An Identity Based Purely on Quick Achievement: Instill a growth mindset so your child understands that success is not fixed. Praise them for their efforts, not their results.

Learning expectations that don't match ability: Set expectations just above your child's skill level. Expectations that are too high can cause anxiety, while expectations that are too low can cause boredom.

2. Teach Mistakes Are Opportunities to Grow

Remind your children that making mistakes can be a positive thing, even if things don't turn out the way they expected. Accept your child's mistakes and tell him, “It's okay to make mistakes. What matters is that you tried."

Admit your own mistakes too. This will help your child understand that everyone makes mistakes and that success comes when you don't let failure define you.

3. "Stakeout" tasks

Teach your kids to break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks and this will help them feel more confident with tasks over time.

If a child feels overwhelmed by a huge amount of homework, they can write down each task on a sticky note, group them by degree of difficulty, and complete one task at a time.

4. Celebrate small victories

Repeated setbacks can destroy perseverance, but the smallest success can inspire a child to keep going, so help him identify his small victories.

For example: “You spelled six words correctly last time. Today you have eight! This is victory. You are improving through your hard work!”

5. Stretch his attention

If your child wants to quit on a task, put a timer on their desk and set it to the appropriate time period, adapted to their attention span.

Explain that he just needs to keep going until the bell rings. Then he can take a short break and reset the timer.

Encourage children to see how many problems they can solve before the bell rings so they can see they are doing well. Focusing will become easier over time.

6. Fix the stutters

When children give up, it may be because they don't see a way out of a difficult situation. Start by acknowledging the child's frustration and saying it's normal. Try breathing exercises or take a break.

Then, when he gets back to the task, see if you can help him identify the one little stumbling object that's in their way.

For example: "It looks like you mixed up the symbols for addition and multiplication." Once the problem is clear, practice focusing on the difficult moment until he gets over it.

7. Praise the effort

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck found that when children are praised for their intelligence (such as "You're so smart!"), they are less likely to persist.

But when a child is praised for their efforts (like "You worked so hard on this! Great job"), they are more motivated and work harder.

To be assertive, praise your child for their efforts, not their grades or points. The goal is for kids to strive for success without extraneous motivators, stickers and gold stars. Research shows that shallow rewards can actually reduce children's persistence.

8. Come up with positive affirmations

Negative self-talk such as "I can't do this" or "I'm not smart enough" undermines persistence. Help your child choose a short, positive statement to say to himself when things get tough.

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Remind your child to repeat this statement aloud several times over the course of several days until he can use it on his own: “Not everything has to be perfect. I will get better and better if I try."

9. Take a step back and let your child figure it out.

“One of my main parenting rules is: never do for your children what they can do for themselves.

Every time you correct a child's mistakes or do something for him, he learns more.
rely not on yourself, but on you,” says Michelle Borba, Doctor of Education, educational psychologist, and expert on parenting.

Once you understand that your child can complete the task alone, take a step back. Let him accept that sense of accomplishment.

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