Through harassment and domestic violence: how an immigrant from Russia achieved success in the USA - ForumDaily
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Through harassment and domestic violence: how an immigrant from Russia achieved success in the USA

When Maria made the decision to go to the USA, she could not imagine what difficulties she would have to go through in order to achieve the "American Dream". Before making a decision on immigration, she had already visited the country under the Work and Travel program, at the end of which she met an immigrant from Poland. A passion broke out between the young people, which grew into a correspondence romance. After a year of communication at a distance, Maria decided to go to a potential groom in New York. In 2011, she chose a school to study English and received a student visa. It seemed that there were no obstacles to future happiness.

Photo: Shutterstock

In the footsteps of Cinderella

“My young man invited me to live with him, allocated a separate room, in a word, he was very serious. He already had a green card, and he offered me to marry him and make permanent documents. But on closer acquaintance, I realized that I could not love him strongly enough, ”Maria admits.

Seeing that she could not respond to the feelings of her friend, the girl did not use his help and rented an apartment with her friends. The first difficulty she faced was financial problems. Under the conditions of a student visa, Masha had no right to work, even while in the country legally. However, since the time of Work and travel, she retained a social security number (SSN), thanks to which the girl could pay taxes. To pay rent and tuition, Maria took a job as a hostess (hall manager) in a restaurant in Manhattan.

“The owners knew I was working illegally and they only paid me $ 300 a week. A few months later, they even said that they could no longer take risks and deal with illegal workers, ”Masha recalls.

The girl had to change her place of work more than once. One of these places was a kebab house in Queens, the Russian-speaking owners of which, in principle, did not consider it necessary to pay her a salary.

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“I had to mop the floors, wipe the tables, clean two buckets of potatoes every day, chop a bucket of onions, buy groceries, serve the tables, and fry the fries. At the same time, for all this, I received only tips from clients, like a waiter. Accordingly, if on some day there were no clients or tips, I worked from 11 am to 12 am absolutely free. At the same time, the owner could swear at the staff and show disrespect in other ways, ”says Maria.

Now, looking back, the girl notes: those who are in a similar situation have the opportunity to protect themselves, even if they work or are in the country illegally. For example, there are private detectives who can collect evidence of abuse by employers, and even the courts quite often side with illegal immigrants in such cases. However, at that time Masha did not know this, besides, she did not have money and internal strength for such a struggle. All that remained was to find another job.

“Working in an Irish pub, I encountered a real harassment, which, however, went through all the employees of the institution. The boss literally pinched us in the corners, pestered, and in case of refusal, he began to take revenge - for example, forcing us to work on the street under the scorching sun all day, ”recalls Maria.

The ghost of happiness

After two years of ordeals in Masha's life, it seemed to her that long-awaited happiness appeared - she met a guy, an American of Colombian descent. The new boyfriend charmed the girl with beautiful and unusually romantic courtship, and she sincerely fell in love with him.

“I remember that a terrible hurricane hit the United States, which even reached New York. He demolished houses in Brooklyn - at least those that were near the water, uprooted trees. It was very scary, and the support of my new friend then seemed indispensable. True, soon the first alarm bells began, which should have been paid attention to. For example, he once told me that he was being deported back to Colombia. Then I did not know that he was a US citizen born in New York, and therefore such a scenario is, in principle, impossible. He asked if I was ready to go with him. Despite how much effort I had already put into my American life, I agreed. As it turned out, it was a test, ”says Maria.

Also, the girl was a little alarmed by the stories of the Colombian about his ex-wife, an illegal immigrant from Mexico, who complained about him to the police.

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“Now I understand that finding illegal wives who will depend on him is a typical behavior of a family tyrant. But then I was in love with him, besides, he arranged the situation in such a way that his ex-wife allegedly deliberately spoke to him in order to obtain documents as a victim of violence in this way. I believed him. Meanwhile, my chosen one insisted on a wedding. Despite the fact that only 3 months have passed since we met, I agreed. In addition, my grandfather fell ill with cancer in Russia, and it was important for me to obtain permanent documents in order to be able to visit him. In short, I gave in, ”says Masha.

Family tyranny

At the wedding, the groom did not even give the bride flowers. As it turned out later, a month before the ceremony, he was fired from his job.

“My grandparents transferred money to me as a wedding gift, and it was with them that we rented an apartment in Queens. During that period, I had to work in two jobs: a hostess and a waitress. Sometimes I had to work at night, while my husband began to roll up scenes of jealousy and cut off contacts with my parents and girlfriends. On cold nights, I was afraid to return by car with colleagues who were ready to give me a lift, as this would inevitably end in a scandal. As a result, I sometimes returned home on foot in the cold at 5 am. In the meantime, he did not work, but sat at home and was sad, ”says Maria.

Masha recalls: even the puppy they took from the shelter immediately began to protect her from her husband when he shouted at his young wife.

“He tried to bark and get between us. Once, having returned from work earlier, I found a scared dog to death in a closet in the dark. He did it and was shaking all over. It is not known how long he stood there. So my husband "raised" him. I tried to intercede, but I wasn't always home at the right time, ”she says.

Fortunately, the girl felt in time that she faced the classic family tyranny, and turned to the support service. However, the husband, who had already learned the passwords of her e-mail and social networks, was by that time freely reading Masha's correspondence. Upon learning of the fact of conversion, he made a scandal and strangled his young wife with interruptions all night.

“The next day I went to the police, he was arrested and a warrant was issued forbidding him to approach me. At that time I lived with a friend. Then his friends began to ask me to withdraw the application, saying that my husband could be jailed. As a result, I felt sorry for him and took the report, ”Masha reports.

At that time, Maria did not yet know that she had the right to receive a green card as a victim of domestic violence. The advice of a paralegal woman she found through an advertisement in a newspaper was simple: since the spouses had not yet even had the first interview for a temporary residence permit, she needed to reconnect with her husband.

“The main advice I can give girls in such a situation is to find a trusted lawyer with a good reputation. In fact, there is no need to reconnect with the abuser. My situation was absolutely real and easy to prove, and I could have received documents without him, ”explains Maria.

You may be interested in: top New York news, stories of our immigrants and helpful tips about life in the Big Apple - read it all on ForumDaily New York.

However, in addition to the wrong advice of the lawyer, Masha herself decided to give the rapist one more chance.

“Contrary to the assurances of the paralegal, the officer who interviewed us knew about my report to the police. However, it is paradoxical - seeing that we went through such difficulties, the officer was convinced that our relationship was real, not fictitious, and approved my temporary green card, ”Masha recalls.

After the interview, Maria moved in with her husband again, but the relationship did not work out.

“He no longer dared to beat me, but soon began to blackmail me again - for example, demanding that I take him to a restaurant at my own expense, if I want him to confirm my green card in two years. He blamed me for everything that had happened, in every possible way treated me with words, tried to control. I couldn't take it anymore, ”she says.

New life

The girl filed for divorce and could easily prove the fact of domestic violence. By that time, she had already received a work permit and began to master the profession of a makeup artist, which has always attracted her. Masha studied materials about the art of applying makeup, constantly trained with colleagues and girlfriends, and as a result got a job as a makeup artist in the duty-free airport JFK.

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“I was also helped by the fact that I knew three languages: English, Chinese and Russian. I worked and prepared tirelessly at the same time, and as a result, I was interviewed for the position of makeup artist in the Chanel boutique in Bloomingdales department store. It was not easy, but I did it. I worked there for a long time, and still communicate with former colleagues. For a long time, relations in the team were almost family-like, until a new manager appeared, clearly disliking immigrants from Russia. At the same time, I was invited to another boutique for a higher salary. In a word, things went uphill, ”says Maria.

In parallel, the girl began to study the basics of healthy eating.

“As a result, now I have already received an American citizenship, I work for myself as a makeup artist and a makeup and healthy eating coach. I live in Manhattan - in short, my American dream has come true, ”says Masha.

However, oddly enough, the girl admits: at the moment she plans to return to Russia.

“Firstly, no matter how trite it sounds, I really love my country and really miss our people and our mentality. Secondly, I have a dream - to open my own cafe. I have already learned that it is much cheaper to do it in St. Petersburg than in New York. In Russia, the healthy food industry is just beginning to develop, and this is a very promising direction. Besides, I really want to do something useful for my compatriots, ”Masha shared her plans.

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