An American was married due to pregnancy at 12: child marriage is still legal in 43 states
Dawn Tyree, 51, had no childhood. From the age of 11, she was in a relationship with a man older than her, and at the age of 12 she married him and gave birth to a child from him. The problem of child marriage in the United States is more real than it might seem, reports Yahoo News.
Photo: IStock
At 11, she says, her father and stepmother encouraged her to spend time with a man who is 19 years her senior.
According to her, the man began to "groom" her, entrusting her with adult responsibilities, such as driving a car, so that she would feel older. Tyree had a child by this man at the age of 13. He was 32 years old.
“The solution was marriage,” Tyree says. “Marriage conceals rape, sexual abuse and child endangerment.”
“Marriage saved him from jail time,” she adds, “and basically put me in jail.”
In 1985, Tyree completed the sixth grade. She got married that summer.
“As minors, we can’t do anything about it,” Tyree explains. “It was a confusing time.” It’s brainwashing—call it what you want.”
According to Unchained At Last, an organization that works to end forced and child marriage, back in 2017, child marriage is what Child USA and UNICEF define as "any formal marriage or informal union between a child under the age of 18 and an adult or other child" was legal in all 50 states.
Currently, only seven states prohibit the practice without any exceptions. One 2021 study found that 300 minors under the age of 000 were legally married in the US between 18 and 2000.
“It would be really nice if just one of the 30 adults in my life had the courage to stand up and say something,” Tyree says. “The do-it-yourself generation is a thing of the past – we want more for our children.”
“I was really afraid to give birth”
Tyri says that at 13, she was "afraid of dying in childbirth."
“Not because someone told me it was possible,” she adds, “but because I was genuinely afraid to give birth.”
Babies who have given birth face a higher risk of eclampsia, postpartum endometritis and systemic infections, according to the World Health Organization. The American Academy of Pediatrics has condemned child marriage, citing an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections, early pregnancy and intimate partner violence.
“I blacked out while giving birth to my first child,” Tyree explains. “Now I understand that my life was probably in danger.”
Tyree said being a 13-year-old girl with a husband and child was “all she knew about life,” so she tried to “make the best of her circumstances.”
“At 14, I found out I was pregnant again,” she shares. “It was hard to digest—I had a lump in my throat.” But I went through my first birth, so I just reassured myself: “You’ll be fine. You can handle it." Then my daughter was born.”
Now a mother of two, Tyree says she's lived in a "weird limbo" where the adults in her life "didn't want to deal with her." They also made it clear that they did not want her to interact with their children.
“I remember various times in my childhood, when I was married, when I wanted someone who seemed genuinely interested to ask if I was okay,” she says. “I wish someone would save us.” I wish they would pick up the phone. But the truth is that even if they wanted to, there was nothing they could do after the wedding.”
“It was a legally binding contract,” she adds. “Basically, my husband owned me.”
"I ran away without a plan"
At 16, Tyri found out that she was pregnant for the third time. This time, she said, it was different.
“I became concerned about sexual abuse of my children,” she explains. “So after the birth of my daughter, I started planning my escape. When I became pregnant again, I felt trapped, so I decided to terminate the pregnancy and ran away without a plan.”
With two children, Tyri went to a women's shelter - she says she was refused there because she was a minor.
“The social worker told me to go back to my parents because they were 'responsible for me,' but my parents no longer had any rights or responsibilities over me,” she adds. “My husband said that I ran away. It was a path that no one should have taken."
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Rima Nashashibi, president of Global Hope 365, a nonprofit dedicated to ending child marriage and human trafficking, says homeless youth are often denied access to adult shelters.
“When they go to a shelter for abused women, they are turned away because they are underage and a burden,” Nashashibi said. “They can’t go to the runaway shelter because they are married and have children. That’s why some of them end up on the street.”
According to Tyri, she had nowhere to turn, at the age of 16 she was homeless.
“I had to divide our family because my children deserve housing and food. They moved away with their paternal grandparents and I tried to get back on my feet,” she explains. “As soon as I found housing, I took my children back.”
Tyri says she had to wait until she was 18 to finalize her divorce, secure custody of her children and start rebuilding her life.
“The courts, even in these grotesque marriages that are full of gross abuse of children, give preference to the adults,” she explains. — My first real job was assembling bicycles at Toys R Us. That’s how I paid for our only bedroom in a small house.”
Tyri says it wasn't until her own children turned 20 that she was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.
“I no longer live in fear of losing my children,” she says. “I did it—I protected us.” They are adults now."
"I speak for those who are silent"
Tyree now dedicates her life to ending child marriage in the United States, testifying before state committees across the country, promoting state and federal bills to ban the practice.
“It’s not about me anymore,” she says. — I can help other 13-year-old girls. I speak for those who have been silenced—those who have no voice.”
Countries around the world, including the United States, have committed to ending child marriage by 2030 as part of the 17 new United Nations Sustainable Development Goals.
Still, advocates like Tyree and Nashashibi say they have faced significant opposition at both the state and federal levels.
A "Child Marriage Prevention Act" was introduced in Congress on January 19, 2018, but failed to gain support.
“We are meeting with elected officials at the state level. We still have 43 states to go. The law that states “child marriage under 18 years of age is prohibited, no exceptions” must be recognized. If we are going to become a world leader, we must act as one in all aspects,” explains Nashashibi.
Indonesia banned child marriage in 2019. In Iraq, Jordan, Morocco and Algeria, the minimum age for legal marriage is 18 years.
Additional challenges advocates face are "religious freedom" arguments and educating the public about the issue itself. According to one 2020 poll, nearly half of all Americans believe that child marriage is already illegal in the United States.
“People need to get involved,” Nashashibi says. “And we need to amplify the voices of victims.”
In addition to launching a digital letter writing campaign and requesting a customized solution for a specific city or county, Nashashibi says it's important that parents speak openly with their children.
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“Parents can't bury their heads in the sand and say, 'This won't happen to our kids,'” she says. — Have an open discussion about your religion, abstinence, or safe sex. Talk about what a healthy relationship is, what is and isn't allowed, and how to respect your own body."
As Tyri continues to work to end the type of marriage that stole her childhood from her, she says she has a message for the victims living in this reality right now.
“There are people in these circumstances who feel very lonely and isolated,” she says. - We are fighting for you. Hang in there. Hang in there."
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