How a journalist from Russia became a photopsychologist in the American metropolis - ForumDaily
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How a journalist from Russia became a photopsychologist in the American metropolis

Anastasia Koba Photo: from the personal archive

Anastasia Koba Photo: from the personal archive

"Nothing but light." The name of this large-scale photography project fully reflects its essence: photographer Anastasia Kuba uses nothing but natural light, which enters the studio through a large window. Not only are there no spotlights and spotlights: there is no makeup, props, hairstyles and even clothes, and in the finale - no Photoshop. And the heroes of the photo project are not professional models, but ordinary people who are completely naked in front of the camera.

Taking off your clothes is not the main thing. You also need to take off the mask with which you live. After the photo shoot, the participant writes a story, which is published along with the photographs, without editing.

The heroes of the project have the right to refuse at any stage - to take away their photographs, erase the frank essay and remove their name from the list of participants. Anastasia Kuba did not set herself the goal of making some kind of socially significant project. She just decided to shoot nudes that way, and in the end, the idea could become a new trend.

No curved back and pouting lips

Nastya came to America at the age of 20. Beautiful blonde with a good figure. Appearance is valued on both sides of the ocean. Nastya was not at all surprised that they were paying attention to her; beauty is the key that opens doors.

However, at first the work was one where a spectacular figure came first: Nastya worked as a topless dancer. At some point, Nastya decided to completely change all her own rules:

“I was 25 when I quit my job as a dancer, washed off my makeup, shaved my head bald, took off my heels and decided to find the way to my true self,” Nastya recalls.

Anastasia Kuba became a professional boudoir photographer and has been published by Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post and Shape. “The game of sexuality was clear to me. As a former dancer, I knew all the exciting positions. At first I did like everyone else: an arched back, pouting lips, hair on one side, a hazy look, that is, what is considered “beautiful” and what men usually want from a woman, and women from a photographer,” shares Nastya.

By chance, on Venice Beach in Los Angeles, she took a photo in which the model was not trying to please. She was completely sincere, and Cuba understood what kind of creativity she wanted to do: “In the project “Nothing But Light” I try to see people as they were in front of me. Without artistic images and social masks.” The first part of the formula was the rule: do not look for sexual attractiveness in the body, but give the body the opportunity to tell a story.

Come and undress

When Nastya began to search for participants for her project, one of the first to respond was a transgender woman. She used to appear in public with a full parade: with a haircut, make-up, in womanly clothes, and here, in the studio, there was nothing but natural light from the window.

When Joy saw the photographs (pictures are printed only after agreement with the models), she remained silent for two weeks, and then sent her story in which she shared all her experiences. “So, today there was a photo shoot... You see that I am trans. But physical transformations cannot show what I feel inside. Deciding to show it is like looking into an abyss that can swallow you whole. I had no problems with undressing, because behind me I worked in burlesque and participated in a project where I had to film with almost no clothes. But this is a completely different project, where no one promised beautiful arms, legs and a “female” body. When I saw the photos, all I could think about was that my hair looked terrible, my skin was red and saggy, my belly was too visible, and I was fat, old, and ugly—too masculine. In the mirror I see what I want to see, but the camera is a harsh mistress who decided to show what I don’t want to notice. I have the option to delete my photos and exit the project. But after a generous amount of vodka and tears, I was able to see more than just what I hated. Now I can look at these photos...maybe not yet accept what I see. But this is a start."

Nastya cannot say with certainty about any hero coming to the project that he will remain. It happens that a person changes his mind during the shooting process, and sometimes he doesn’t come at all. That’s how Erica wrote her story, but panicked and didn’t come.

It’s not Nastya’s rules to persuade people - this is too delicate a matter to put any pressure on a person. But I really wanted to include Erica’s story in the project:

“I suggested that she publish the story, and instead of photographs, put a photo of an empty chair, which she never dared to sit in. But I promised her that if she ever changes her mind, I will definitely take pictures of her,” says Nastya.

Erica wrote why she was never able to overcome her fear: “When I heard about this project, I was impressed, I wanted to become a part of it, especially since I have experience in nude photography. Once upon a time I was a model in an erotic photo shoot. A long time ago... So many bad things have happened since then. I spent several years on the streets, became addicted to heroin and other drugs, and was raped several times. The result was severe depression. I haven’t felt my own sexuality for a long time, and I didn’t feel comfortable being naked. I decided that participation in the project would help me. The night before, I undressed in front of the mirror to see myself in full length. I saw a completely different body than I remembered. I saw everything: drugs, hunger, lack of medical care. There are scars on the yellow translucent skin, the chest has lost its fullness, and there is a mark on the thigh where heroin was often injected. My teeth are broken, they are yellow from cigarettes and I have seen a fist more often than a dentist. What I saw in the mirror was a blow to the stomach. Where is my once beautiful body? I realized that I could not stand in front of the camera and in front of another woman my age. I wanted to run, to hide. My friend said I'm beautiful and strong, but I can't forget what I saw in the mirror."

There is one more chair in the project. Chilli was sitting on it. She was one of the first participants. When a photo of this plump woman was published, the “trolls” immediately perked up. Both Chilli and the photographer got it. Like, why is she promoting an unhealthy body, why is she deceiving these women, saying that they are beautiful. A carload of mud was poured on Chilly, but she was a very strong person. Until her photo appeared in the Huffington Post. After publication, mocking comments went beyond tolerance. Chilli asked that her photos be removed.

Nastya admits that she is always ready for what a person can change her mind:

“People are not ready to become the subject of discussion of thousands of people. Some are hampered by status, some are public figures and cannot open up, others are afraid of family condemnation. When Chilli said she was leaving the project, my heart was broken. And not because she left, but because of the reason why she did it. If she, a very strong and wise woman, could not stand the trolling, then something serious actually happened.”

But her story remained in the project. This is a story about how much and for a long time a woman can hate her body: “I started my “diet” when I was only ten, when I could play the piano, love my dog, love my house, but instead my thoughts were occupied by one thing: I hated my body. But at the same time, I was obsessed with food. I ate and felt ashamed of every damn calorie I put in my mouth. At the age of 16, I thought about suicide, and the weight kept gaining and increasing. At 23, I married my best friend and couldn’t understand what he saw in me, so fat. And at 24 I injured my back, and life went off the rails again. More weight, more pain, more suicidal thoughts. What is the use of a fat cripple? It took me many years to love my body. Don’t judge me because you don’t know what path I’ve taken.”

Free yourself from fear - you will become happy

Taking off their clothes, people who participate in the project of Anastasia Kuba, also remove their fear.

It seems they undress on all 100%, getting rid of stereotypes, armor, masks and splinters that sit in the heart and prevent breathing. Some write about things that have been silent all their life. They write, realizing that now family, friends, and colleagues will find out about it.

Joss is a survivor of sexual abuse. The only emotion she lived with for a long time was shame. The trauma she suffered made her a closed person; showing even a tiny part of her body to someone became taboo. She came to the project to carefully and patiently negotiate with her body.

Mason is completely confused in his shell. I could not even call her body.

“As a child, I was a beautiful girl, in the Barbie style, I was photographed for magazine covers, invited to castings... I was born in San Francisco in ’88, at the height of AIDS. Against my will, I became a drug addict in the womb, received a rare hereditary disease that could not be diagnosed for a long time - my body bends itself in bizarre poses. I was in foster care, I was abused, I hated my body, I lost weight until I was 20 pounds underweight, then I bloated to 200 pounds, and then I realized who I was—a man who was born female. floor. In 2010, I ran away to Portland and came back a different person. I changed my gender, received new documents and my secret history...”

Nastya called what Isabelle produced “quiet photographs.” Thin, transparent, a catheter with liquid is attached to the body with patches. Isabelle writes her story: “In all the photos, there is a device stretching across my left thigh that allows me to continue living, but I still see that I am beautiful.” Isabelle did not allow herself to post a single selfie that was not processed with filters; for her, it became an important and difficult step to take off her clothes, show the whole truth of her body and see that she could be quiet and beautiful.

Jim is already old, and all the years that he has lived in the world, he has been afraid of nudity: “All the years before my eyes there has been a mother who suffers from prolonged postpartum depression and pushes me naked into the street.” He lived with an injury that doctors could not heal. And for the project “Nothing But Light” Jim unexpectedly was able to take off his clothes.

When we are naked, we are like everyone else

For example, Justin wrote about how difficult it is to find love, how you want not to be perceived as a thing, how hard it is to kiss for the first time, how you fly on wings after the first date. It would seem - what's special? Who hasn't gone through this? But Justin only in Nastya’s photographs looks like everyone else - just a naked man. When he gets dressed and sits in a wheelchair, you realize that he has cerebral palsy. Justin wrote a very intimate personal essay, which is even difficult to translate into Russian, so as not to spill the pain with which his story is filled to the brim.

I'm just like you

There is one more nuance of the project that remains behind the scenes. If it is difficult for a person to overcome fear and undress, the photographer is ready to undress with him to show that everyone around him is equal. “Moreover, if a person wants to photograph me, I also allow it,” says Anastasia Kuba. — On my camera, on my phone, I don’t mind. I give a person the opportunity to be on an equal footing with me.”

There are currently 80 heroes in the project. At first, Nastya set a goal to photograph 100 people and record 100 stories, but now she understands that there will be many more. “I can’t stop anymore,” says Nastya. Perhaps these are too strong words, but she is ready to call the project “Nothing but Light” the project of her life. Nastya felt that people needed this, and she has already taken responsibility for those who need such a photopsychologist. Perhaps this will become a new trend: give up filters, brands, spectacular poses, and at least once in your life show yourself who you really are. In the end, Nastya also did not immediately decide to undress in response: “I overcame fear, and this turned out to be exactly what I needed for happiness.”

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